I did it .............

I am a certified Red Cross / Red Crescent CPR (Adult, Child, and Infant) First Aid, AED Instructor. I only have to observe a full class being taught , do what they call a teach back which is where I will take a section and teach it with an instructor there to coach me , then teach the who class under the watchful eye of another Instructor.
I really mess up my first teach section I did in class I bombed big time but was able to recover and do much better the next day. I still have a lot to learn and I need to get comfortable speaking around people but I think I can do it. I go back Monday to the Red Cross and watch a teaching session. I need to study my Instructor book this weekend just in case Jerry calls on me to take a section I want to be ready.
I also maybe just a tab crazy. Carl and his husband Abe are going to stay with me for a few weeks. They have sold there house and put a bid on a new one but the closing dates are off a few weeks so they are going to hang with me for a while. This will be a test to see if I can handle having roommates again.
What else oh yea I am going to Missouri to see Libby she is living about 70 miles south of St. Louis in a tiny little town there in the Ozarks . While there I am going to sit by the lake and read while she works on Friday, then we are going to head into St. Louis on Saturday and see the sights. The Arch, Bush Gardens. I might even try St. Louis Pizza which from what I have read is made with Provolone cheese. If anyone has any ideas let me know. I doubt I will be able to talk Libby in to a Cardinals Game.

New day

I did it Toby the Wonder Cat has been moved. I dug a nice deep hole and to avoid all the nasty details he is in it. I hope to stay. I don’t think I could do that again.
When I finished I had the shovel in hand so I go busy in my yard and cut down small trees that were growing in the fence, and then got going around my azalea bushes and pulled weeds and more small trees that thought that would be a good place to grow. I put a couple hours worth of work in out there and it felt good. I was able to put my mind on something else other than the grim task my day stated with. I feel better now and my arms and legs are sore from pulling and tugging on weeds and trees all morning.
The Sister is in town and we went over to friends of hers tonight and had a few beers and laughed and had such a good time. Sis was telling her “I’m scared of Owls “story and I was crying I was laughing so hard. I miss times like that with friends the laughing so hard you cry. Those are good times. I think it was a perfect way to end a day.

And you thought your day sucked

In August of last year, as some of you may rememebr, my cat of 13 years passed away one morning. I could not bring myself to see him or to bury him so the roommates I had at the time did it for me. They left soon after and I never learned where he had been buried until today. I was out mowing the lawn and I found his skull in a shallow grave. I am not sure what I should do at this point. There is a fence and woods behind my house and just tossing it over the fence does not appeal to me. I need to do something to honor him and keep it …. What’s the word? Honorable, sacred. Needles to say I need to finish mowing the grass to and not well you get the idea.

She has done it AGAIN !!

So once again My Mother has told me that she is proud of me. ME!! The shock is going to kill me. Today the Department of Health came back and we passed our survey. YAY ME. I busted my butt to get that stuff in order and it all worked out. I was so excited. When I called my Mother to tell her she said she was proud of me again. That is like twice in 1 month the last time she said it before this was the day I graduated high school. Maybe aliens have take over her body? Maybe she is mellowing with age? I don’t know what it is but I like it. I am going to take these things as they come and roll with the flow. Be open to her and her attempts.

Well this Friday I have gotten myself in a real pickle. I think it will be an exciting day it is just going to be a long one. I have to pick up Tony and take him to the Airport on Friday at 5:00AM and since I am going to be close to work I might as well come on into work and get some things done right?
Then I have a training class for my last State Train the Trainer class that starts at 9AM. This one class is only offered every three months so I have no choice despite that fact that I have plans already but oh well. Now my other plans I have volunteered to be a victim. No, I am not going out with one of my boyfriends again. The 2005 Emergency Preparedness Challenge is taking place both Friday and Saturday; I volunteered to be a victim for the excise. I was going to do it all day but because of the class with the State I can’t I will be there from Noon to 9PM it means I wont be delivering pizza. (I am heart broken, ok not really) but so I thought it would be fun to work with Home Land Security get an up close and personal look at just how unprepared they are to handle an emergency that they plan. I am not sure if I will use this as a form to let everyone know how inept they really are, I don’t want to give away tips to the Dark Side.

AN UPDATE

Well here we are again and I am wondering what to write, what to tell. I know I should write more often if only because I check the blogs of my friends on a daily basis, generally, and I get aggravated at the fact they go weeks and don’t update their blogs I am sure because they have much better things to do. I don’t get to jet set across the country nor do I work with people who would be interesting topics of conversation. I am alone in the office 95% of the time. I answer the phone when it rings 4 times a day and I type. Fun.
But here it is I had tuna salad with ROSEMARY TRISKITS and a pear for lunch. Last night I headed home and stopped and bought me a nice bottle of wine, went home, my friend Greg called to tell me how sorry he was that he did not mail me the CD he did that he swore he would mail on Monday and did not. The salmon I bought had gone bad, but I drank a glass of wine anyway had my broccoli salad, rice, and I cooked some of theose frozen breaded shrimp. It worked. Carl and Abe dropped by with their 5 dogs because their house was being shown and they needed to get out. They looked at paint chips for a wall in my house that I want to paint then left. I went to my conversations group and found myself with my head in my lap laughing. In the group we set up intentions for the week and mine is to be more open to my mother because she is trying. I came home went to bed and fell asleep with the TV on. Next week my intention is to use better punctuation. ( OK not really but it will make Ron happy.)

Spell Check has made me a complete idiot. Not that I was the best speller in the world before hand. But now that I am working at a desk and a computer all day long I have gotten even worse than I was before not really caring or putting a lot of effort into getting stuff right because that little red line appears under the word to let me know that I have once again misspelled a word.
That though is not my biggest problem I am not good at 1 knowing that I have misspelled a word it is more I misuse the word. Here lately my biggest problem his been in talking about what our Mangers are going to need to be doing. Well now the problem is that Mangers is a word though not the one I want and it is not even close I am meaning Managers. You can’t even look at those and figure out what I mean. Unlike since, scenes all those I miss use those and most people get the general idea. But again often my spelling is so poor that spell check can’t even figure out what I want to spell and I end up playing with all the letters in different orders and using different vowels until I know it is the word I want. Like my dictionary is a lot of help do you know how hard it is to look up a word that you can’t feakin spell? It is both good and bad, black and white, yen and yang . But I am not any better a speller better typist yes.

Guess what My Mother has gone and done now?

I called my Mother at work yesterday after having a talk with my Boss at the job that I have been working that is supposed to give me more responsibility and more experience. I called her to tell her that I have been made the title VI Coordinator at my Job. I must say I am really stoked about. But when I told Mom she told me she was proud of me. That was a shock I don’t think she has told me that she is proud of me in years. I was taken aback. It had to be the topper to my day possibly to my week. My mom is not one to “SHARE” her feelings and I have kind of felt her doubt about this job the whole time and it was just good to know that she is proud of me.

VINEGAR

Well I am in a really pissy mood this evening. I was when I walked into the pizza gig and I left the pizza gig early because I just was not feeling it. I was going to rip my stupid bosses head off. I had an address that was not complete with only a letter “c” for a last name because he is to lazy to get a last name and then to verify the address and get it correct so I deliver a pizza to the right people in a timely fashion and Say “good evening Ms. Jones how are you?” But no he is a a a a grrrrrrrrrr.
So I am just not having it and I live alone so there is no one to come home and start a fight with over something stupid and lame like the way they eat pop corn. I want to be left the hell alone but I don’t want to be because I wana start something. Because I want to be left alone and not bothered but I don’t. I have not been this way in a long time. Put em! Put em up!

Fear and Loathing

Well I still can’t manage to write in my personal journal everyday. I used to make time each night no matter how tired I was to sit down before I went to bed and write, my thoughts and feelings about the day and the people in it. Then in the morning I would record my dreams. But I have not been able to do that for years.
I had a boyfriend who attempted to read it once and it really put a stop to me putting down my true thoughts and feelings it was a big betrayal and it caused me to just shove my feelings deep inside me. I also had a roommate at that time that I thought was reading it; things would not be right in my room when I came home. So I would carry it with me every time I left the house as to guard my deepest personal thoughts that I don’t share with anyone- the fear, doubt and what have you about myself and those in my life. Even though I had been given a beautiful Lap Desk to keep it. The whole thing had become tainted. As if my soul had been opened and looked into (without my permission) and I just don’t know if anyone should have that kind of access. It is like Post Secrets only it is not anonymous.
There is no one now to steal my thoughts, feelings, hopes and Dreams yet I still can’t move past all that. I can’t feel safe in putting down what’s inside me in the quite, alone at the close of my day. I know that there is a way past all this to let go of that fear. To again find comfort in putting what is in my being on to paper and in to words, and again enjoy this best part of the moments before I sleep like I did before. But those answers are deep inside of me and my biggest battle is to find the way at the end of the day to place it all on to paper and trust myself.

Chill in the Air

Well the weather in Nashville has been just gorgeous the last few days. I wore shorts , once I dug a pair that fit out of the attic , out Sunday it was near 80 degrees. It was beautiful. I went to lunch someplace with out door seating just so I could read my book and enjoy the out doors. Today it is nice outside also and we are expecting some storms later today. I should make it if I don't freeze to death first. I work in a small office the heat and air controls are in the office upstairs from where I am and I do not have access to them and those fools have their air on. It is only 73 out there and I am about to freeze to death. It is bad enough that we are in the basment so it stays cool here. But Jon's Pigunies are going to following me to work and making them selves at home here with me. I might as well start dressing in black and white so I CAN FIT IN!! I just need feathers. I do have a small heater here so I will not die or anything so dramitc but why can't I make out like I will. I hate the cold! Though this does not help me having a love for the mountains. Sigh what to do?

Excitement and a Conversation with God

Well I am really looking forward to tonight I am a part of a Conversations with God Book Group. The group is based on the The serious of books by Neale Donald Walsh. Tonight we start on book 3 which I have not read yet but am very excited about getting into it with my group. When I found my first book back in 1998 I was having serious problem with church and religion and the book was about a God I wanted to believe in. It help me to come to terms with God having no part in religion and it helped me be OK with that. My relationship with God is better now than it ever was and I have this wonderful Group of people with whom to share it. We are from all walks of life and all back grounds most pretty liberal. But they are this totally awesome group of people there are a few lose ends but I really enjoy them and I am really look forward to what is ahead.

Lost my direction

I am so far off base right now. More on a dietary way than anything else. I have in the last few years managed to quit smoking April 9, 2000 and all but eliminate caffeine from my diet Thanksgiving 2004, having a drink with it in there about once a week. But I can not seem to get on track to not eating junk food. For a long time there I was doing extremely well but it has all gone by the way side. I have become a drive through queen pulling into the drive thro over 4 times a week most weeks which is not good. I am wasting money and gaining weight. Round is going to become my shape and I just can't seem to focus on eating right. I know how to do it I have done it. I just have so much less time in the morning than I used to. A few years ago an hour and a half was more than enough time to shower, drink coffee( now tea) , check my e-mail , and then pack a lunch for work. Today it just does not happen I am fighting no one for shower time but the time just slips by and I am running out the door. I have this addiction to chips- potato, corn , French onion, Bar-b-que, jalapeno, oh and add a good salsa and I am done for a basket of chips will be gone. I have lost my self control. I used to eat a cup and a half of fruit for breakfast every morning !!! What is going on. I buy fruit and veggies and they rot in my fridge I have every intention in the world of eating them and then I don't. What is the deal what's is my problem? How can I refocus ?

Making it quick

OK so my lunch will be over in like 2 min. OK I get to set my own lunch hours but that means working longer and who wants to do that? Steph I check your blog just about every day some times twice. Everyone else who is on my list too. So though I am a lazy bum and never write I do read. I have no news to report today I am alive and happy and quite cute if I do say so myself. When I have time I will give out alot my info about laundry and washing dishes and such in the mean time the Goddess must make her car payment.

Letting The cat out of the bag

Not that the cat was in I just have not be really fourth coming about how things are going. I have not wanted to say anything to soon about it all for fear of the big jinks. Murphy's Law is a bitch sometimes and I should know we have been on a very personal basis. As you may or may not know I have been working two part time jobs one delivering piazza's for a major chain the other I got almost as soon as I "lost" my other job. One of the Nurses at the Agency I worked for before has had his own staffing agency for several years. He has been wanting to expand to get his own provider license for Long Term Supports ( Group Homes) and Professional Support Services (Nursing ). This would allow him to 1) open his own homes and give supported living and nursing care to Individuals w/ Developmental disabilities 2) bill the State of Tennessee for the nursing care he already gives instead of billing the agency's that he gives the service to. When I "lost" my job I came back by the office to let my friend help me with my resume on the weekend after. Once it was finished I dropped it into this nurses chair he called that Monday , interviewed me in the parking lot on Tuesday and by Wednesday or Thursday I was working for him. I am rather proud of the turn around. So I have polished both of the applications that he and other people he has hired ( and failed) have been working on for over 2 years , Written and edited Human Recourses Policies, and The Policy and Procedure Manual ( I did use other peoples policies I will not lie, but heck it is hard work.) Now among all the other duties I have been assigned I have been sent to training for a train the trainer. This allows me to teach all incoming staff and recertification old staff on most required training for the State of Tennessee. I am going next month to the Red Cross to be a certified CPR/ First Aid/ AED Instructor. The only classes I am unable to teach are those that require an RN ( Medication Administration , seizure etc.) I am still not full time. But the application I submitted to the State to provide services should go to be signed next week if it is not missing anything. But it is looking good. I thought that Goddess would make a good title. Now does anyone know how to make paragraphs here on Blog Spot. I have tried in vain to do enter and it is not working any clues would be helpful.

No Gnews is Good Gnews

Well my life has been about as exciting as watching paint dry. Not that I mind that so much a little dull is nice for now. I do have to work tonight and it is going to be cold and snowing. We all know what happened the last time it snowed while I was working. I can't afford another fall. So until I have to go to work tonight I am trying to decide if I want to A) clean my laundry room. B) Read a book or C) watch THE PRINCESS BRIDE. Which I picked up at Wal-Mart last night. Hummmmmm let me see. I should really clean up the laundry room it is going to be very cold out tonight and I should let the cats in, this is where they stay now when they come in to visit. But lying on the sofa in my bath robe some how just seems better.

I can fly , I can fly . I can fly

I just love those flying dreams like the one I had last night. Where I am walking along and I step down on one foot and launch myself into the air. I tend to fly like Mary Poppins which I think is out right cool. But this time I came in from out side with Chastity Bono leaving her outside it was windy. I stepped inside and stepped and I was flying ,through a furniture store filled mostly with sofas SINGING I can fly I can fly I can fly............When I stopped I came down on a sofa and rolled softly over into a glass top coffee table. There was a sales lady there asking me about my flying and how long I had been doing it and how I did it. But there was a storm brewing outside a large massive black cloud hanging low in the sky turning round and round the wind was blowing hard and I told her to get ready for the storm coming you need to find a place to be when it hits that's not out in the open I pointed to a small area with a yellow wall and told her to be there. I went on about storms and tornados and how you can tell one is coming by the walling and turning of the clouds. Like those. I finished what I was doing and left walking out into the storm and the wind to my car which was parked around 3 tricked out canary Yellow and Red Caddies with gold grills, rims , and accents.
Then ( still dreaming) my home phone rang and some one asked if such and so could come and fax something from my house I said sure. Then there was something about not having a fax they could use but I would love to see them anyway and when they pulled up outside I looked and it was Sara ( that crazy roommate) I was not letting her into my house.

UP DATE

Well my tush is still soar. I do not plop down I sit down very easy. It does not hurt today as much as it in days past but if I sit wrong I feel it. I will finish the steroids in the morning and I am taking a lortab at night to sleep which is bringing on some out right freaky deaky dreams. I have yet to remember last nights dreams. I went to bed Monday night feeling very eurorphic and in a blissful happiness, and no it was not the drugs. But the dreams that night just were all out crazy and involve running for my life with blood , gore and sheer fear fueling the night but in this last one I was running with a Man and though we feared for our lives I felt safe because we were together, but who would not feel safe running with Viggo Mortenson. And No I have not seen any of his movies after LOTR. Of course my broken butt is reason to not excirsie wouldn't want to take any chances now would we?

Jack and Jill went up the Hill....

and Fern came tumbling after. Well on Friday the 13 th it was snowing and I of course was out delivering pizza which is what I do on Friday nights now. The snow was pretty and was melting as soon as it hit the ground it had rained all day away so everything was wet. I went to a house to deliver a pizza and made it up the wooden ramp with no problem to the door. Upon leaving I somehow ended up on the ground I was sitting there before I had knew I had fallen. It hurt like the dickens. I went right back to the store and reported it to the manager. Well the next day I was still soare and I having no health insurance did not rush to the Doctor. Yes I know about workmans comp I also know what a pain in the ass it is and I already had one pain in my ass I did not need another. So I put off doing anything for to long if you want to know the truth. I went this Saturday Yes over a week later to the Doctor at a walk-in clinic. Guess what I have broken my cockais ( tail bone, ass) what ever you want to call it. Well I now have some steriods and lortab , which made for some wacky dreams last night the lortab not the steroids. So my tushy hurts unless I take a lortab which I have not all day so I can work, but I am off now to lortab land. Somehow this gives a whole new meaning to pain in the ass.

Date from Hell

I have not had a date in well over a year so when I went out with a friend of mine to this Mexican restaurant she always goes to and one of the guys asked about me and want to get to know me I said why not. My girlfriend knows most of the people there.
We met at Friday's and well he would not keep his hands off of me I would ask him to slow down and back off a bit and he would not My friend was with me and she asked him in Spanish no less. He told me he wanted me to be his girlfriend we have know each other 5 mins. Then he asked if he could kiss me and I told him NO! So then get this he told me he loved me! Give me a freakin break. We went to another place where He kept trying get in my pants and when he could not he got mad and said he was tried and wanted to go home so we said OK bye and left. THEN That idiot called me this morning to ask what I was doing? Give me a break. I got no RESPECT! That loser did not even by our drinks. NEXT! Now I remember why I have not dated in like 2 years.