Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Shiney trinkets and Fire

Well here as of late it seems all one needs to get my attention is a shiney trinket and I am off to Never Land like some horriblely misguided gnome in a game of D&D. You know the one that gets you off the trail and untemiltity into a near death battle just becasue he saw something Shiney. I am very easily pulled away from the long list of things I need to be doing over things that I can do later. Like now I should be working and I am updating my blog. This is not good. But there is no one here but me. I have spent a lot of time just kind of day dreaming but not even using that time like I should to write down where I am off to in these wondering thoughts of mine.
I had a fine Christamas and that might only be because we didn't fight which for the Clan I come from is a feat in and of it self. We managed to spend a day in the same area as each other and not tear each others eyes out. We did our little family thing same thing we have been doing for twenty some odd years. We picked a movie which is never an easy task and then ate Chinnese food. We do open gifts and eat the same breakfast every year. We saw The Family Stone. It was funny it was sad it was a good movie then to dinner. After dinner we went back to the folks house and my sister , mother , and I played games while my Dad flipped channels which is enough to drive even unfocused me over the edge. I swear that every few min. that man was flipping channels over and over and over again I wanted to scream for two hours he went from channel to channel never stopping long enough for you to enjoy listening towhat he was watching. UGGGH.
Now for Fire I don't much like fire but it seems if my friend Stephlys had bit of it at her house for Christmas and the whole thing just made me want to scream so I am kind of lighting one here . I will admit to listening to talk radio if only to see what the narrow of mind are thinking today now most of the time they piss me off and I change the station sometimes I listen to see how stupid they are. I can not for the life of me imagen not being able to turn it off.
I am grateful to the Men and the Women who have choosen to fight in a war I do not agree with they are dying for the freedoms I use every day of the week. But I will be damned if this @%*@$^$ of President will remove my rights under the agenda of proteting me and my neighbor. I will not sit by and let you remove the rights of other citezins of this counrty. Holding people of another religion, race what ever is nothing short of ilmoral and illigeal and because we did it in WWII does not make it right. G. Grodon Liddy can think that it is OK all he wants to but what do you expect of a felon who did time for trying to cover up for another liar of President , Nixon. I am about ticked off I am scared that the leaders of My counrty are acting in such a way as to REMOVE RIGHTS!!! This is not Natiz Germany. Steplys honey I think your right. I agree with YOU !!! But as AMERICANS if we sit here and keep our mouths shut they will remove all our rights.

Monday, December 19, 2005

Let Me In

So I ran down to Chattanooga for dinner with friends last week and as I rushed out the door I grabbed this huge stack of CD's. I put in my Chely Wright CD and went back to the time that I had bought it years ago after a break up with a guy that just left me totally floored the song "Let Me In" just so spoke to me at the time the chorus: "Let me love you really love you. Open up your heart and let me in. I don't know who taught you not to trust. I'll be constant as the sun that shines above. Close your eyes and take the fall. If it's really love there's no risk at all. I can love you if you'll only let me in." I remember lying in the floor and just sobbing over the pain of this guy that just did not love me and I was feeling so sorry for myself and all pity me but this week it hit me who I needed to love me way back then was ME I needed to love myself. I was the one that needed to let me in. How far I have come and still how far I have yet to go. But I am not that same woman any more. I have learned to let myself love me more be happy with who I am and the turns my life has taken. I will never be done learning to love myself who ever is. But I have "Let Me In."

Tuesday, December 13, 2005


I have been pondering a great many things here lately on of them is some of the qualities that I admire in people because I number of my friends have been so supportive in telling me during my recent challenges what they find so admirable about me. People just don't come out and say hey I admire this about you and some of it is just a little petty jealousy but in a strange fashion it is a form of admiration. But if we took the time to just stop and say hey there
Stephlys: I really admire they way you gather people around you. You have a light that draws people to you. You have an abundance of friends that all would travel the end of the world to see you or come to one of your gatherings. You found a way to get through college on your own by your self with your own gusto. Sybi : You will always be the big wheel on the Tri-cycle the leader and have people willing to go with you no matter what. Kenn: Your so grounded no matter what you stay there. Ron: No matter what you have THE SNAPPY Come back. Libby: Well now you somehow manage to not her get to you through it all you just deal with her and don't let it get your feathers in a ruffle. And well now I have to get back to work I am out of time not out of admirations.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Just so you know

I keep trying to update my blog and it is taking over a day for it to come about I don't know why and yes I have gone into explorer and deleted cookies and my history several times and it still wont show up. I don't know what the deal is. But today is Wednesday and I tried to republish yesterdays post and it still did not show up so blah.
But the big so you know is although I am all for Organ Donation and I want a large portion of myself given away before you cremate me. I don't know that I want my face to be one of the things that gets donated not that I am attached to it , ok so I am, but that is not the point that I am getting at. It just seems way to weird. Very Scully and Mulder , Luke and Han, Jeerpers Creepers. Did anyone not see silence of the Lambs. Yes it has been the thing that Books and Movies are made of but it would seem like putting on a Halloween Mask that you can't get out of. I don't see this as being like a skin graft it's not it was the lips, the nose ick. So I might be dead and I know I will not need my face any more but they can't have it , it is mine and I am going to take it with me when I go. Not to say how totally brave is the woman who gave her face for this but not me nope.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Lord it's cold

Good gravy it is cold as the blue blazes out there. It is 18 degrees. Is that cold enough for you? It is way to cold for me and if I had only brought my work home with me last night I could be doing my work from home today. OK I would not be doing my work from home I would find something else around here to do other than work. I would be watching TV or cleaning so it is all the better that I go into the office. Yes, it is only 24 hours a week and only having one day a week that I have to be in the office I can set my own hours otherwise. I have tried to come up with a set I will be in the office on these days kind of thing and leave the rest for job hunting and what not. I could get really into this staying home and watching talk shows all day thing. But that is why I can't stay home.
I finally got my college transcripts in the mail so now I can really dig into looking for a full time job. I would really love to be able to leave Pizza Delivery behind me forever, we'll see. My Mother has suggested that I move back to Chattanooga and go back to school finish my degree there so I wont lose so many credits but I am not in the frame of mind for that right now it just seems so "not now" as opposed to "this is a good a time as any."
Today will be a hot liquid day I think I will go through several cups of tea today.