Wednesday, December 31, 2008


1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before? I went to visit Steph and her husband T in St. Petersburg, FL

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I don’t want to talk about my resolutions. I resolve to be a better person in 2009 than I was in 2008.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Yes

4. Did anyone close to you die? Yes my neighbor Mike passed away and a client.

5. What countries did you visit? Never left the USA but I traveled far and wide in my dreams.

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008? ONE JOB!!

7. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why. My birthday vacation to see Steph. I saw history being made with the election of Obama.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? I don’t feel I achieved a lot this year.I got my student loan paid off.

9. What was your biggest failure this year? Not knowing what I achieved; self-doubt; feeling inadequate; forgetting who I am.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Only my pride was wounded.

11. What was the best thing you bought? Breaks and tires

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? The little people who everyday do the right thing no matter how hard it is just because it is the right thing to do.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Where can I start AIG, FORD, GM, Bush, etc.

14. Where did most of your money go? Car payment, house payment.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Did I tell you I got to go to Florida to see Steph for my birthday?

16. What song will always remind you of 2008? Heck I don't have a clue.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. Happier or sadder? Got a big old case of the blues
ii. Thinner or fatter? Fatter.
iii .richer or poorer? Poorer

18. What do you wish you'd done more? Hanging out with friends, traveling, exercising.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of? Working.
20. How will you be spending Christmas? Here in Nashville with my family.
21. Did you fall in love in 2008? You know I thought I had but then I pulled my head out of my ass and realized it wasn’t love at all but gas.

22. How many one-night stands? 2 or 3 .

23. What was your favorite TV program? TV? I like CSI, NCIS, How I Met Your Mother

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? I don't hate people but I sure as heck don't really like a few people anymore.

25. What was the best book you read? Nothing really rocked me this year.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery? That band that sings that sing about that thing . Does Neil Patrick Harris have a band yet?

27. What did you want and get? The greatest friends in the world. I am so blessed with a great group friends whom I would not trade for the world. Ok maybe one of I would trade but only for the cash.

28. What was your favorite film of this year? I can’t remember what I saw

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I was 38. On my birthday I went to dinner with my family. For my birthday Libby gave me a cooking class at Viking and if I have not told Steph flew me to Florida for my birthday!!!

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Staying true to who I am.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008? Are shoulder pads still in style?

32. What kept you sane? At this point I am not sure I am still sane. I feel like I have slipped off and really lost part of who I am.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? I am over them.

34. What political issue stirred you the most? The War, Gun Control, Equal Human Rights, THE 2008 PRESIDENTAL ELECTION

35. Who did you miss this year? Jonathan and myself.

36. Who was the best new person you met? I really got a chance to meet and talk with T while I was in Florida. I honestly like that guy.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008:Sometimes life just freakin sucks.
38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: “We Shall Over Come”

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Uncle Jay's Thoughts on 2008

Yeah yeah I know in 2009 I will learn to imbed links in my blogg.

HEY YOU!! Stop laughing I will. Really I am serious.

Monday, December 29, 2008

And some where the stars of "How do I look?" die

Did you see it. I sure as hell caught it in today's paper Plaid and those leather red wings with the leather shoe laces are back in style. And I get to do a little dance that all my plaid flannel is once again cool. I mean like I really care it is warm. So is silk but I don't have to dry clean flannel. So can I do the whole grunge thing again that I was doing way before it was cool? SHUT UP SHAMUS! Once again hanging on to old clothes has paid off and I don't have to rush out and buy it when I own vintage. I know you want to touch me don't you? Sit next to me in class because I am so cool. Yeah I thought so. I am THE FERN.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Not the normal

I am still working on my normal New Years Post however I have been thinking back deeper on 2008 and what I want for myself in 2009. What I want to accomplish.

I have spent much of 2008 in a funk it could probably be better classified as depression. My normal News Years Post is all depressing so I am going to fix it before Wednesday. My bloggs have been depressing. Why write and bring down all 4 of you? I want to let go of this I am not good enough. A lot of my issues this year stem from a feeling of inadequacy. I am a poor writer face it my English sucks and I live here. I have run on sentences and badly formed paragraphs etc. I have extremely limited computer skills and I lack a college degree. I want to be Steph’s # 55 and find my fantastic attitude. I seem to have lost that. I miss that girl. Hell I am smart and I know my stuff. I am a well informed person and pretty well read. And I am funny as hell. I want to find that again.

So 2009 is going to be fine. I want to get out of debt. My mortgage will not be what I am getting out of but my car should be paid off by February. That statement could come back to bite me in the ass as in my family we pay off a car and then it gets totaled so before I mail the last payment I am going to take a spirit stick to my car and bless it I might even burn a candle of protection in it just to be safe.

Then Discover will get their money. I can start paying them off. There are a few more out there and I will have to go digging through and find them. But I am not to worried people who you owe money to have a way of finding you.

I would like to spend less time working in 2009 and as I get bills paid off that should happen.

Things at work are slatted to change in the first few months of 2009 though this has been a promise for sometime the staying has a lot to do with the feelings of inadequacy. And now so does the economy. I have got to decide in 2009 if this is what I want to do.

Somewhere in all of this I have got to get back to school.

I have a list of things I NEED to get done around the house. Most of these I put off working on this year because I have been in such a funk I want to spend more time out doors in the sun digging in the dirt. I want to get my house clean and keep it that way. And I would love to knock at least 2 things off my home to do list (things like new screen doors, garage door, paint, etc) things that don’t have to be done but need to be.

I want to get back to eating better. I used to never hit the drive thru and I want to get back to doing things that way. I want to start to exercise again which should help with the funk thing.

I have got to get to where I set a goal and stick to it. How many times have we done this in 2008? I am going to eat better and work out more and I never get there. I never get out of bed and the next morning I am in the drive thru at Hardies.

I used to write in my personal journal nightly and then record my dreams each morning. Once a week I would go back and study those dreams. I miss that too.

I miss time with friends and want to spend more time in 2009 with people I love and enjoy spending time with.

My resolution each year is to be a better person at the end of the year than I was at the beginning I still have not put my finger on what I have done this year to better myself. What deep personal growth I have done. I am though one to believe that I might not see right now what lessons I have gained this year I am sure that one day down the road it will come to me in one of those big huge AAHA moments when I realize I was not that stagnate after all.

Other thoughts and challenges that have arisen.

Leave it to Steph. Before I left to work on this I had left my status on facebook at thinking of my goals for 2009. She has commented to me do the 9 fun things in 2009 with me from our 43 things list well there sister what about we here and now plan a girls weekend for 2009. Then we can work on staying in touch with friends.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Christmas Memories

My Mom made my sister and I dresses and sewed bells in the hem so when we walked they would jingle.

I remember the Christmas it was 17 below here in Nashville and the pipes froze and the guy at the HoJo told us if we would bring our own towels and soap and stay off the beds he would let us shower FOR FREE.

I remember waking my parents up at 5:30 on Christmas Mornings and them begging us to go back to bed.

My Dad going down stairs before all of us to turn on the tree lights and getting the camera. Then standing at the top of the den stairs with our mouths open.

The boss my Mom had who would slaughter a hog and give FRESH Sausage as his gift and his wife would make fresh butter. YUMMY


The year my folks had the Swine Flu and were so sick

Mrs. Hayden taking me shopping because my folks were to sick at that new mall in Antioch.

Seeing Santa at 100 Oaks and then again at Harding Mall and asking how he could be in both places.

Walking up the hill at 100 Oaks

The talking Christmas Tree at 100 Oaks

Going to Sears Downtown

The Candle Light Carol Service at Church.
My Bike
My Barbie Dream House
A TV for MY ROOM!!

New Jammies

How if you didn't get socks and underwear it just wasn't Christmas.

The Christmas my Grand Mamie was in the hospital and we stayed at her house in Atlanta and asking how would Santa find us.

My Donny and Marie Barbie Dolls

Leaving School and Steph and I having a car full of dirty laundry.

The thousand lights per branch on the tree

Making Christmas Ornaments that my Mom still hangs on the tree

Decorating the tree and the Ornaments feeling like long lost treasures as we hung them on the tree

My Snow Suit

The fountain I got that spoke to my heart

The Hand Painted Platter

May each of your Christmases be filled with warm memories of Christmases past and full of memories for the future.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Dear Oprah

Hi Sister. I see again that you are talking about your weight. How you have just put it on. Me too. You say I know what to do and I have the tools and here I am again. Well I feel you I really do. I have put on weight and I started smoking again UGH! Seven years I went without smoking then one day I went and bought a pack. That didn't help me lose weight. I know what I need to do. I know how I should eat. But I don't do it. It's that pesky french fry rule.

It makes me feel so much better that someone who can afford to pay for someone to cook each meal for them still fights the same fight. That it is not just a battle of anyone person or group. When I was at my bone skinnest I would avoid sweets and fried foods and people would say you can afford a peice of cake. I would look them in the face and reply "I have to work just as hard to keep it off as you do to get it off."

But I just stopped working. You are not saying anything to yourself that anyone who has fought the battle of scale has not said. Never again! Only to find yourself there again. You are not alone.

Friday, December 05, 2008

Angry Blogging

"Simpson was not an individual storming a bank and taking property that belonged to others" in the September 2007 incident, the defense's sentencing memorandum said. "This was an individual who truly believed he was not committing a crime and that the law permitted the recovery of one's own property. Apparently that belief was mistaken."(

I wonder is that the way he felt about Nicole too? I mean he was going after what belonged to him. Right?!?!

So right now I sit here and I wait to see how they sentence him. I think this might be the perfect time to let go of the ANGRY Blogging I have been doing. I have been full of negativity here lately. And frankly I don't like it. So I have to move to fix it. So poke me when I am getting all negative.

Maybe I should make a things that bring me joy list like Stephly instead of things that annoy the crap out of me. She might have something there. If I keep this up I might come off her list. I wouldn't want that.

Here's one OJ GOT 15 YEARS DO DA DO DA.

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Excuse me while I pitch a Bitch

So yesterday with the cold and the snow and the gray skies I was blue and not all happy smurf blue happy pants. I was pity party blue pissy whoa is me blue. I am still not thrilled but I am not throwing myself under the bus blue either. I am cramping to is that what you want to hear? Which is really rare for me I don’t cramp often.

Plus I am having a zillion people over to my house for a Christmas Party and I have fleas yes freakin fleas people and I have vacuumed and thrown out the bag and done it again I have done it 7 times and I still have fleas. I have sprayed my carpet with TOXIC flea spray and almost killed myself and I still have fleas. And how do I know I almost killed myself because my fucking tongue started to swell that’s how. But damn my carpets are clean. Through this do you know what is sad? When I vacuum each day I am still finding cobwebs and big dust bunnies that I missed the day before? You would think that after I have vacuumed the house for 3 days in a row I would have found all the cobwebs but hell no, so that ticks me off.
And you want to know what else ticks me off cause I have a list:

1. People that call back and say yea I got a call from this number. I am sure you did listen to your DAMN voicemail I freakin left you one. 2. People that bring their kids to a job interview HELLO DUMB ASS you are applying for a job not looking for a day care. 3. People that call and say ya I filled out an application and was wondering if my background check was back. OK and who the HELL ARE YOU? 4. People who don't do the wave when you let them in traffic. 5. That whole pants down around the ass thing. 6. That hair growing out of my chin. 7. Liars 8. Ford, GM, Crysler WHY DON'T YOU fire one or two of your Million dollar Executives, oh and now you figure out you need to leave your plane at home. 9. AIG 10. People that are mean to the helpless. 11. People that are RUDE to servers. 12. Comcast 13. Gum on my shoe.
14. Garden Gnomes. 15. Dust I mean what’s up with that? 16. Hard headed people, kinda poses a problem doesn't it. 17. Cold coffee. 18. burned cookies. 19. Daylight savings time. 20. Dry lips 21. They canceled Sports Night; I am still not over that. 22. Wet news papers 23. Rotten veggies. 24.A plastic fork at Fazoli’s who the hell came up with the idea that spaghetti could be eat well with a plastic fork? 25. The Spork I mean WTF? 26. The dude in front of me at the bank drive through that does not have his stuff ready. 27. People who park in handicapped spaces because they are to freakin lazy to walk so they borrow someone’s card. 28. Sean Hannity 29. Those fools that don’t put their buggy back and just leave it to roll through the parking lot. 30. That person that rides in the left lane and won’t merge so I can pass his ass. 31. People who litter. 32. Fleas 33. Warm beer 34. Brussels sprouts. 35. People who sit there and eat while their kids are screaming their heads off. I get you are making a point but make your point at home and not at the restaurant I am eating at. 36. People who don’t leash their dogs. 37. The medical treatment of our wounded soldiers by the United States Government. 38. The fact some of my ex’s are still breathing. 39. Baggage fees by the airlines. 40. Michael Jackson 41. O.J. Simpson. 42. People that say it will happen when you least expect it. Bite me! 43. The movie Hudson Hawk. I could have put that time in toward my mandatory community service. 44. Cramps. 45. I ma sure I have more so look out.