Thursday, November 26, 2009


Hello to all 7 of my readers. I hope you all are having a great Thanksgiving. I am still chillin out at home before heaqding over to Mom and Dads for lunch and fun famliy time.

I hope you all have a day full of blessings.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Dad lets me drive on the driveway

The last year has been hard on the family. My Dad's health has gone down hill and the man who used to be vibrate and active now can barely walk to the mail box. My mother is saying that the Doctors say it looks like Congestive Heart Failure now. It seems we have been getting one diagnosis after another and each new one is in addition to something he already has. The symptoms for one are the same as the symptoms of another and the list just grows.

I have asked for a list of what he has but my Mother can't ever seem to remember to give it to me. So far what I can remember are ITP, CHF, AND low Blood Pressure there are several more and I am tired.

I don't know if anyone fully understands how it breaks my heart that my Dad might not live to walk me down the aisle. The man who taught me how to drive and how to ride a bike and made piggy's in a blanket on Sundays when Mom was out of the house and broke the rules.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009


Did I tell you all that this year at my Annual Christmas Party we are collecting funds for 1-800-Suicide. Earlier this year a friend of myself and Sanford my co-host, took his own life after a life long battle with depression. The Demons finally won. Sanford and Mike were BFF.

It has been hard on the group. But Sanford was talking to me about our Annual Christmas Party and he suggested some kind of suicide prevention network. Then he wanted to back down. I had to really encourage him that we needed to go through with this. We always invite large numbers of people and Mike's Mother is always there. He didn't want to do this and her be there and break her heart or hurt her feelings.

I just kept encouraging him to call and ask her. He did not want this to be a sad time for her. Then he made the call. I know this was not easy for him. But he asked. "Would you be OK with it if we collected money for 1-800-Suicide this year? " She told him it would be fine and if we wanted to collect the money in Mike's memory that would be a great idea.

I think Sanford was in shock for many reasons.

Do I think Mike's Mom will get trough the party with out tears. No. But I do hope that the money we get can save the next Mike.

I have a bigger question and maybe you can help. Do I put out a picture of Mike? We are collecting the money in his memory. What do you guys think.

Monday, November 16, 2009


I am still not feeling all that great. But I am feeling better. I am not as lonely as and feeling as desperate as I was.

I am having trouble at work and I am the only one who thinks so. Not going to deep. Not sure who reads this.

On a positive note I am gearing up for the Annual Christmas Party that me and a friend throw each year. Bought a warming tray at a yard sale this weekend. I think I have more trays and bowls than I know what do with. I am trying to come up with some new and different food to serve. Each year we have a few favorites and party standards

Veggie Tray
Home made Humus Plain and Roasted Red Pepper
Bacon Winnie Wraps( BIG HIT)
Cheese Tray

Lots of sweets and home made cookies
Chips, dips

I need something new and different Any ideas

Wednesday, November 11, 2009


Thank you to my anonymous readers for their advise. You are very right this is so the time to tread lightly and not go head long into a relationship. But come on its been 7 years I mean really. Not that my ex was all that awsome that is why he is my ex and married to someone else that is not me. YEPPIE!!

Now I need advice on how to find a job in this market.

Been invited out to the country this weekend with a Girl Friend. She is going to put me to work. That will help a ton I think.

Monday, November 09, 2009

You Think?

I had someone else today point out that my post on facebook seem a little tense here lately. Oh because I was beginning to think that I was the only one that thought I was a little disgruntled. The first person that pointed it out ticked me off.

My massage for Friday got canceled because my masseur had a death in his family. The only other day & time they opened did not work with my schedule.

But on the bright side the Christmas Party is Saturday December 12. Now if I can get the house clean and not have to shove everything into garage or under a bed. We will be just fine. Right as rain.


bite me

Sunday, November 08, 2009

Not so hot

So things have not been good. And I have not wanted to Blog because I am sick of the only thing I write about is how unhappy I am. You know how you reach a point that all someone does is talk about how unhappy they are and you get sick of hearing it. So you no longer wanted to hang with that person. I am that person or at least that is how feel.

I am lonely. I miss being in a relationship I miss having someone to share my life with. Someone to sit at the dinner table with and share my day with, someone I can share the last parts of a day with before we fall asleep.

I am tired of being unhappy in so many parts of my life. I am tired of sucking the life out of those around me complaining about the same things over and over again.

I am trying to figure out ways to improve before I destroy myself. But sometimes you have to destroy something to build it back up.

I don't know.

Saturday, November 07, 2009


Have you ever been so lonely for the touch of a man that you wanted to cry? I mean the touch of a man that was madly and passionately in love with you. Or hell just for the touch of one that is willing to lie to you about it for night.

Just shot me.

Sunday, November 01, 2009

Just bend over

I seems that I am doing a lot of that here lately as far as work goes. I am tired. I need to find a new job but guess what there is not one out there. I have been told by several State Monitoring officials to get out before I go down on this ever sinking ship.

I know I could ask my friends and use them as references and keep looking for a new job. But I am thinking really hard about going back to school. Getting my degree. I am not sure I could get a loan but I guess first I have to try. I need to decide what I want to be when I grew up. This has been a hard time for me and I am worried about losing my job before I find another one. POSITIVE VIBES POSITIVE VIBES.