Sunday, June 29, 2008

1-800-SUICIDE



That's all I have to say about that.

Friday, June 27, 2008

OUT OF FOCUS

I have to admit that my mind has not been very focused the last few weeks. I know some of you are thinking that my mind is never really very focused well you can kiss the little RED DEVIL TATTOOED On my …………………….

Ok back on track. I signed up for Plenty Of Fish (POF). My buddy KB made the suggestion. Yes he is the same guy I saw for a while. We are good friends and he sent me there. I am not sure weather I should thank him or take out a hit on him. I know where he lives. Look out there KB.

So I am doing POF and having men on the first date/ meeting what ever you want to call it grabbing a handful of my ass, which I find to be totally out of line. He did offer to grab my breast the next time and I offered to punch him in the face. Then there was the guy who ran after he met me. Yes, folks he could not get away from me fast enough and bolted back to his car. He did at least say hello and shake my hand. This could be why I have not dated in years.

I have answered the phone when I should not have. I am weak what can I say. I just had to know what it was he had to say. Which means that I have got to keep my mouth shut about the friend of a certain little sister of mine and now be all-nice and eat crow. Which makes me want to GAG!! Because how in the Hell can I tell her what an awful life-damaging mistake I think she is making when I am doing the same thing. AGHHHHHHHH. So there is this rule that when you are making a mess of your own life you can’t tell others that they are making a mess of theirs. Unless of course you are totally delusional. It might be easier to be delusional we do that well in my family.

Over Father’s Day the discussion got around to employment verification, which is one of my job duties. I was talking about the employment verification site The Work Number. Which a number of companies have moved to use in an effort to save time and la la la what ever. I happened to mention that Vanderbilt was using this site. The Work Number charges for each employment verification that you do. Or you can pay this lump fee and get X number a month. Well my agency is very small so we would lose money buying in lump so the company has to pay $18 for each verification we do. I was told I was wrong. That is not the way Vanderbilt does things. They do not use that site. I tried to calmly explain that was where HR had directed me. “Nope can’t be, must just be for nurses” “You just send me the information and I’ll check that out. I’ll get to the bottom of it” (meaning I am going to prove you wrong) I sent her the link earlier this week.

The ICING ON THE CAKE, the coup de grace I received this email from my mother Wednesday that said, “You are right! We are following up with the head of HR.” Well no shit I was right I knew I was right when I told you. You are the one who sat there telling me that I was wrong and did not know my job. You are the one that was telling me surely I must have been doing something wrong. You are the one that would go and look if I told you the house was on fire before you would make your exit. So in my 37 some odd years this makes like 3 times I have been allowed to be right. Of course after she checks out my story. If you don’t know this means that the world is coming to a cataclysmic end. I KNOW MY JOB!!! I am not a moron. I SWEAR IF SHE EVER ASKS ME AGAIN WHY I DON’T TALK TO HER I AM GOING TO LET HER HAVE IT WTH BOTH BARRELS.

Friday, June 20, 2008

SPF ~ YOUTH

Kristine over at Random and Odd asked us to post a picture of Youth.

" June 20 -Youth. A child isn’t actually needed at all for this picture. Capture something that means ‘youth’ to you. Mine, hands down are roller skates. I can still smell the cotton candy and feel the butterflies in my stomach thinking about the ’snowball dance’."





When I was young my of my favorite things to do was to lay in the back yard under the weeping willow. This was a spot where I dreamed about tomorrow. My life as a grown up, the man I would marry , the children I would have. It is a spot of my youth.

Did you play?

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Today It's Me

There are days like today when I am sure it would be me they were speaking of.

Friday, June 06, 2008

SPF~ Eyes of a Child




June 6: Through the eyes of a child.
If you have a child; Allow the child to take your camera and find something they like to take a picture of. Do not prompt them on what to take, leave them to themselves to pick it.
If you do NOT have a child…you lucky bastards; Get down on your stomach or knees, about the height of child or baby and see what you see from there point of view.


Well I am single with no kids and I was trying to figure out how I was going to make this work. Then last night I remembered I was a kid once, with a camera no less. I had a Holly Hobbie 126 with one of those disposable 4 sided flashes. I loved that camera. So I took all kinds of pictures with it. I have not gotten much better with a camera but at least now I don't to devlope them to know they suck.

This is through the eyes of me as a child.


What a flash back. This was maybe Spring or summer 1980 and I would have been 9. This was in the court yard out side our Church.
The handsome devil in the red sport jacket is my dad, beinde him os Allen Bridges who by a 9 years olds standers in 1980 was hot, the little blonde is our neighbor Megan , then of course is my favorite sister in the whole wide world , Libby.

Did you play?

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Rude Awaking

Most mornings during the week start with a rude awaking and that is the alarm clock going off at 5 A.M telling me it is time to act like I am going to work out. I also wake up alone there is no one to roll over and snuggle with and moan about spending the day in bed.

This morning when my clock went off at 5 A.M. my sister’s cat Linus was curled up at my back, not the type of guy I want to spend the morning in bed with. I rolled over to get up and hit the snooze button and promptly hit the floor. Yep rolled right into the floor. My right knee took the brunt of the fall. It has been 30 years since I have fallen out of bed. All those years as a drunken college student and I never fell out of bed. But my bed is up off the ground I kinda have to hop/ scoot up into it so it hurt.

When I stopped to get my breakfast this morning I was telling them about falling out of bed and not having done in 30 years. One lady says yep I would stick with every 30 years if I were you. Then an older wiser lady said yep and if you do next time you’ll break a hip.

How true.

Monday, June 02, 2008

It's her party

So I did not have to lock myself in bathroom and cry this weekend. I didn’t even cry all the way home. I didn’t cry at all.
There were lots of babies at the shower. Heck lots of little kids because the Mom to be comes form a large Catholic family and there are a lot of babies. But I did not find myself in a ball on the floor. I made it. Though holding the newest member of the family 3 month old Charlie, who still smells new, and 10 month old Conner did not make it any easier I was just able to shut it down.
But maybe all and all I need to work on the shutting down thing not stuff my emotions down so much. But it is so much easier to avoid dealing with it all if I just shut it off. Know what I mean? It is not like I am even in a place to be a mother. I am single, I have no health insurance, I am working two jobs, and though I have a number of great guys in my life I don’t know that I have any one that I would say hey you would you mind being a role model to my child. Because, if I wanted them to be a role model to my child I would have married them. But, wait do I know straight men? There in lies the problem. I hang out with gay men.