April has arrived and the year is flying by. At least it seems that way to me. I basically have not spoken to my Mother since Christmas Day. When I told her I was done and why I was done. I have been telling her the same thing for over 20 years in every way I know how and yet nothing changes. So I am DONE.
When I received a letter from her yesterday telling me she did not know what she did to hurt me but she was sorry. It just drove home my point. YOU DON'T LISTEN TO ME!!! I need to write her back but I don't want to be ugly. So I am waiting. I might share the letter with some friends and seek some advice. I don't know that it would be fair to write her back and say I have told you what you have done and yet you still don't know? But I do not have the strength in me to cover it with her one more time. For over 20 years I have beaten my head against a wall with her. But is it fair for me to have to ask to be treated differently and get nothing and stick around for more?
I am trying to leave my sister out of it. I love her dearly and she is frankly one of the most important in my life and one of the people I can speak frankly and bluntly to. I don't want her to feel put in the middle and I know she has been.
I did get good advice from a friend who asked me if cutting off my Mom was worth cutting off my Dad. And that needed to be something I think about.