The new thought

My baby sister has been the greatest help to me when I was feeling extremely self destructive. I called her the other night when I was on the verge of calling an ex who is part of my most self destructive past and in no way is good news. She pointed it out. Called it what it was. I was looking for trouble, that is what I wanted to call it, which is not always a bad thing. Is it? I seem to find it by being kind to people who are bad news. I have never found trouble in the since that I have been to jail though there was that time in college we did avoid the police by hiding in the cemetery. I suppose we all have a self destructive side I just guess I am looking at mine in a new way. Calling it something new. It is all part of growing ,changing, becoming. What will I become when I grow up?