I am going to Chattanooga Sunday for a baby shower. I am going alone. The beautiful Momma to be already has three nephews. All under 3. Babies , babies , babies. Just thinking about going leaves me crying. I have managed to put a lid on the desires. Ok that is a lie. I just don't talk about it. And if I don't talk about it I don't have to think about it. I get to pretend like it does not bother me that it is not me having that baby. Can I keep up the act during the party? Can I go and not lock myself in the bathroom to cry?
Sometimes I feel as if I have no one to talk to about it. Women like Marcia Cross make me grateful though. Like I am in on some wonderful sisterhood of single , smart , funny , intelligent women over 37 who are single. Thanks Marcia. But somehow I don't think Marcia will answer my call.