ALIVE

I don’t know that I can put into words the whole experience. It was by far the best thing I have EVER done in my life. It has been such a rush. I have not really slept since last night and I don’t know that my feet have touched the ground yet. As a friend put it “Your life will never be the same now you can go forward and know there is nothing you can’t do.” I feel as if I can take on the world. You see the videos and you hear people talk about it and some are like ya it was great but it was and it is so much more than that. It has opened my eyes to so much. I am sitting on my sofa and looking out and at the sky and wondering when I can get back up there. I never knew how dead I was till I went. This quote just about sums it all up. "For once you have tasted flight you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return" Leonardo de Vinci

There are over 200 pics and I am still trying to figure out how to get the video on here. Hey I got it on FB so I am getting somewhere

Nerves

Nervousness is starting to set in. I leave in about 2 hours. Yep I'm scared

Count Down

I am on the count down to my sky dive I am less than 48 hours away. The jump was switched from the morning to the afternoon so a friend can go with me. Initially I was going alone ok well let me back up. My friend Pam was going with and called called to late and there were no available spaces left when she got around to calling. The sky dive place had a cancellation and called me to see if I would change my time so Pam and I could go together and I was like HELL YA.

I was a little disheartened that no one was coming with me to even watch but now I have some one with me. YEPPIE!! I hope I can figure out how to post the video so you all can see it. It may take a while because I don't know if you have figured it out yet or not but I am not a computer whiz, all this time and I still don't know how to in bed links on this damn thing yet.

I have narrowed it down to 3 songs so now I have to pick.
REM = It's a Beautiful Day
Twisted Sister= I am , I'm Me
Bryan Adams= Only the Strong Survive

My Song

I am still rolling over in my head the song track I will have laid over sky dive video. I am not going to do 'Free Falling' nor 'Jump'. I would love to find something great by a little indy artist or use something for one of my friends that writes music but nothing really sticks out.

I have a few in mind and as I listen to the radio I try to see if anything jumps out and screams pick me pick me.
This is what I am thinking

Pump up the Volume
It's A beautiful Day - R.E.M.
I can see Clearly Now

I thought about doing the the chart topper from when I was born but that is Edwin Stars 'WAR' so that is out. I am down to abotu a week and a half to make up my mind. I only have a few CDs and have never once downloaded a song ot MP3 I am not a music queen.

I couldn't do it alone

I have been wanting to get out my feelings since the break-in but then I really don't know if those are feelings I want to go back later and relive.

I didn't sleep for a week because I was terrified. One night a week later I barricaded myself in my room and wondered how fast I could get my phone and get into the bathroom and pray I lived till the cops came. Several nights I slept on the sofa with all the lights on. I don't want to really remember feeling helpless and having to call a friend and say look I can't even change a lock. I couldn't even get the screws to go in straight.I wanted to do it myself and use that as a means to reclaim my home and my sense of Independence and I failed.

I pride myself on my I can do it my own damn self attitude and that was gone. I didn't want to leave the house because I didn't want to come home at night alone in the dark. And that made me even madder. That I had lost that enjoyment of being alone that idea I can handle most of what needs to be done by myself.

I can change a door knob alone and I can't change out the wax seal on my toilet alone these were little facts I had come to accept and I couldn't even do the simple things.

I have gotten most of it back. I did call a friend as I walked back into the house last night and he talked to me as I walked from room to room. He had offered to follow me home and walk through the house with me. But I told him "no , I have to do this alone." I have to reclaim my I can do it myself. But it was and is nice to know when I couldn't when I needed my friends they were here. They came and sat with me till the cops came they stayed the first night. They called and called and called. And then I got my smiles in the mail. :)

I had a boyfriend and when we broke-up he ask me if I wanted to know what my problem was? He told me I was to God Dam Independent. He was still pissed because I change a flat tire by myself or some nonsense. So the lesson I have learned I can handle a flat tire but not some jack ass takiing my shit and going through my panties but that is another post

Crazed , Shattered and back again

Life has been nothing short of insane on my end of the world wide web. I arrived home Wed July 21 to find my house had been broken into again. My Lap Top and Jewelry were gone. This time they took the whole damn jewelry box. I am sick. I have been over whelmed with decisions about which alarm company to go with it all boils down to either paying up front or paying out over three years. This is once of those times I wish I had someone else to help me with this.

Today I did schedule my tandem sky dive for Aug 28th. I would leave a Will before I go be the thieves took it all. So there is nothing to leave you all. But this fine blog.