So my Friend Steph is apparently on this deep thought kick here as of late and has poised yet another deep question she says your answer can't be exercise and drink water. This is also where I swear on my favorite comfy pants that my next blog will be more up beat with cheery things like bunnies and signing raccoons.
What is there in your life that you think you should be doing but don't? Why?
I really think I should be going back to school and working on my Degree. I somehow feel uncompleted without it and as if my life is missing something.
Why don't I? Well, off the bat it is because I am already working 2 jobs I don't need to add school to that. I keep thinking that once I am down to one I will be able to put the focus to school that it really needs. Put on my bobby socks and saddle shoes and go get em.
Secondly well deep inside me in the very dark places of my mind and psyche where I do not let people even me. I don't think I can do it. I see myself as a failure. I am scared to death of heights but I want to jump out of a plane and meet this fear head on. But this fear has a deep hold on me and I would much rather stand in the door of a plane thousands of feet above ground and think about jumping out than face school again. I mean if I fail to jump out of a plane people look at you and say I wouldn't have jumped either.
Then it makes me mad as hell because that bitch wins. The one that told me I couldn't do it in the 6th grade. So I am filled with fear and shame. I am full of shame for not having finished school and full of fear to try and that I never will. Then I am back to shame and we are on to yet another deep question what is your fear.
So I should be going to school and I am not because I am afraid to fail.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
No TA TA'S
This isn't honestly all the beads I have. I have many many more. This is a display from the first night we went out. I am home from Mobile none the worse for wear. I ate , I drank , I had a good time and I kept my shirt on the whole time.
The fact there was a fleet in town from the USS HAWES made it hard. Here Sailor Sailor. But seriously I was well behaved.
I did not have Internet access there in Bayou La Batre. My friend had an air card and even that didn't work. So we were out in the middle of no where. The good part of being out in the middle of the Bayou was fresh shrimp at $4 a pound. Yummmy. I brought some home and plan on having a shrimp boil tonight.
So being out there in the middle of no where I did not get to wish RWK a Happy Birthday on Sunday. Sorry I am late. Hope it was a good one.
I was able to let go of a lot of stress while away. That tightness in my chest is gone. But I didn't gain any clarity on other issues going through my head. I did not arrive home with the "THIS IS WHAT I AM GOING TO DO." I still don't have a clue what my next move should be.
I had told the people I traveled with that I was not going to return with them but I was going to stay there in Mobile. "Really? What would you do here?" They asked. My reply had to be honest and the answers was "nothing. I 'd just be running from the problems I didn't want to face at home and those tend to follow you where ever you go." So I came home and now I am going to have to figure out what tune is playing so I can face it. I hope it is a little cheery and not the Storm Trooper March
Sunday, February 15, 2009
No Table
This year there was no table for ONE. Don't get all squeally on me and think I met someone that would not be the case.I decided I could either afford to go to Mobile for Mardi Gras with some girlfriends or spend that money on dinner for myself. So I did not go out all dressed up alone for Valentines Day. I freakin worked. I was supposed to deliver pizza but this weekend at job one has been just one major disaster after another and I would have had to cancel my dinner reservations anyway. Not that I was any less ticked off. So I spent valentines day not meeting with my Paranormal Group ( which I have missed the last 3 months we met because of freakin work) not having lunch with some GF like we planned but working and very very grumpy. Because I was stuck at job One long enough that I could not go to job two so I lost money because hey I am on freakin salary.
There was no wow I am wonderful, I love me ,I am great this year. There was a large amount of self pity , loathing and all around grumpiness. But I lived. I am still in a sour ass mood. Thursday can not get soon enough. And if one person ask how was your Valentine's day I might just punch them in the face. So how the hell are you?
There was no wow I am wonderful, I love me ,I am great this year. There was a large amount of self pity , loathing and all around grumpiness. But I lived. I am still in a sour ass mood. Thursday can not get soon enough. And if one person ask how was your Valentine's day I might just punch them in the face. So how the hell are you?
Friday, February 13, 2009
What's it like when you have the most fun?
I did this for Steph because I like her best.
I think for me when I have the most fun I am number one With Friends.I am relaxed and at ease. I love it when you can sit ; talk and let it all flow you don't have to worry about what you say. When silence does come it is not uncomfortable it just is. When you laugh so hard that you cry.
When you disagree it is just that you disagree its not a fight our an argument and you learn a new point and can come away going gee I never thought of it quite like that.
It is those times when I feel I come away richer for the time spent with the people.
So What's it like when you have the most fun?
I think for me when I have the most fun I am number one With Friends.I am relaxed and at ease. I love it when you can sit ; talk and let it all flow you don't have to worry about what you say. When silence does come it is not uncomfortable it just is. When you laugh so hard that you cry.
When you disagree it is just that you disagree its not a fight our an argument and you learn a new point and can come away going gee I never thought of it quite like that.
It is those times when I feel I come away richer for the time spent with the people.
So What's it like when you have the most fun?
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Tips For Job Hunters
I do HR work. I review and check references. Here are a few tips from what I have seen. And because people are stupid.
Now I don’t claim to have good sentence structure which if you read my blog you know this. But....
Dress: Come in to fill out your application dressed nicely flip-flops; shorts and a T-shirt are a no no. Tone down the perfume/cologne, Comb and style your hair, tone down the make-up
Previous Employment: Already have all your background information written down. Asking for a phone book to look up a past employer is not good. Have their address as well as phone number. Remember many companies will require you to fill out an application even though you handed in a resume. Some going back 5 to 10years.
Make sure you have your Driver License, Social Security Card Etc. with you. If you have a special certification CPR, Nurses Licenses have that with you also. Copies of other Certifications might be helpful too bring those along. Without an Advanced Degree we require a copy of the High School Diploma.
Personal References Check with your personal references before you put their name, number and Address down. You want to be sure you have all the correct information and they are willing to speak for you. You might also want to have whom they work for and their title some employers ask for this.
I called a personal reference for one person and they refused to speak to me because he had been her supervisor. "Saying I can not give out a personal reference for an employee".
I have also called only to be told that I have the wrong number that “Joe” no longer has this number and I have had it for 2 years.
I have had the misfortune of calling and the person had passed away months ago.
CHECK WITH PEOPLE
DO NOT USE RELATIVES this means cousins, husbands, wives, live-in BF OR GF ,In-laws etc. It just looks bad.
Make sure you are using people that will return a phone call and avoid using the ones you know call back a missed call and say “ yeah I got a call from this number”. That does not help YOU when I am making calls for 15 applicants a day and I have to call three references and go back 5 years of employment for each. I have called a lot of people today.
If You are trying to get a job use people who will help you get that job. You want to use people that can put together a sentence. I always ask what are
"Suzie's" strenghs and I am often left having to explain to the person I called what I mean by strenghs. You want people that can talk about you in a positive light. People who aren't shocked to know you are looking for a job.
It is simple people you call up your friend "Hey Steph I am applying for some jobs and was wondering of it was OK if I use you as a personal reference." "Thank you" "Let me verify your info is 555-123-4567 still the best way for you to be reached? Or would you rather me use your office number?"
Always have 3 to 5 people whoes names you can give and give names of people that know about your skills in the area you are applying.
OTHER: Turn off your cell phone if you can not stay off your phone long enough to fill out an application how are you going to stay off long enough to do the job you are applying for.
Leave your kids, husband, wife, or friend etc outside better yet at home. If they keep coming in to see how much longer you are going to be then I sure do not need that kind of distraction in the work place.
If you are offered a job and something happens that will prevent you from stating when you say you can, stay in touch with the company. An applicant once applied and was granted a job a death in the family prevented her from starting when she stated she could. We phone her at 2 and 3 weeks after the death to see if she was still interested in the job she did not call back until 6 weeks or more after the stated start date asking if she still had a job. The Answer was No. Had she been in touch we would have worked with her but her lack of action showed something about her we were not interested in and the offer was retracted.
PLEASE PLEASE if you have some crazy ass cutesy little ring back tone or message change it while you are looking for a job. I always think twice when I get this " Hey all my Bitches and Hoes I can't answer my fucking phone leave a message" or something similar your friends may think it is cute the people trying to give you a job don't. Leave a simple message "You have reached the personal voice mail of The Ferngoddess I am sorry I missed your call. Please leave me a message and I will return your call as soon as possible." Leave Jesus out of it.
Sit down and Google your name. Check your Facebook , Myspace , Blogger ETC companies do searches for these now and many a job has been lost over having half dressed photos on Myspace. If the company you are applying for can find it so can their clients. Tone it down and change your profile picture.
That's all I have. Can you tell I have had a rough few weeks?
Do not hit on the person doing the interview. I once had a guy walk in and tell me I was just as sexy as my voice and then during the interview went on to ask me out over and over again. He kept tell me how hot I was. He didn't get the job
Now I don’t claim to have good sentence structure which if you read my blog you know this. But....
Dress: Come in to fill out your application dressed nicely flip-flops; shorts and a T-shirt are a no no. Tone down the perfume/cologne, Comb and style your hair, tone down the make-up
Previous Employment: Already have all your background information written down. Asking for a phone book to look up a past employer is not good. Have their address as well as phone number. Remember many companies will require you to fill out an application even though you handed in a resume. Some going back 5 to 10years.
Make sure you have your Driver License, Social Security Card Etc. with you. If you have a special certification CPR, Nurses Licenses have that with you also. Copies of other Certifications might be helpful too bring those along. Without an Advanced Degree we require a copy of the High School Diploma.
Personal References Check with your personal references before you put their name, number and Address down. You want to be sure you have all the correct information and they are willing to speak for you. You might also want to have whom they work for and their title some employers ask for this.
I called a personal reference for one person and they refused to speak to me because he had been her supervisor. "Saying I can not give out a personal reference for an employee".
I have also called only to be told that I have the wrong number that “Joe” no longer has this number and I have had it for 2 years.
I have had the misfortune of calling and the person had passed away months ago.
CHECK WITH PEOPLE
DO NOT USE RELATIVES this means cousins, husbands, wives, live-in BF OR GF ,In-laws etc. It just looks bad.
Make sure you are using people that will return a phone call and avoid using the ones you know call back a missed call and say “ yeah I got a call from this number”. That does not help YOU when I am making calls for 15 applicants a day and I have to call three references and go back 5 years of employment for each. I have called a lot of people today.
If You are trying to get a job use people who will help you get that job. You want to use people that can put together a sentence. I always ask what are
"Suzie's" strenghs and I am often left having to explain to the person I called what I mean by strenghs. You want people that can talk about you in a positive light. People who aren't shocked to know you are looking for a job.
It is simple people you call up your friend "Hey Steph I am applying for some jobs and was wondering of it was OK if I use you as a personal reference." "Thank you" "Let me verify your info is 555-123-4567 still the best way for you to be reached? Or would you rather me use your office number?"
Always have 3 to 5 people whoes names you can give and give names of people that know about your skills in the area you are applying.
OTHER: Turn off your cell phone if you can not stay off your phone long enough to fill out an application how are you going to stay off long enough to do the job you are applying for.
Leave your kids, husband, wife, or friend etc outside better yet at home. If they keep coming in to see how much longer you are going to be then I sure do not need that kind of distraction in the work place.
If you are offered a job and something happens that will prevent you from stating when you say you can, stay in touch with the company. An applicant once applied and was granted a job a death in the family prevented her from starting when she stated she could. We phone her at 2 and 3 weeks after the death to see if she was still interested in the job she did not call back until 6 weeks or more after the stated start date asking if she still had a job. The Answer was No. Had she been in touch we would have worked with her but her lack of action showed something about her we were not interested in and the offer was retracted.
PLEASE PLEASE if you have some crazy ass cutesy little ring back tone or message change it while you are looking for a job. I always think twice when I get this " Hey all my Bitches and Hoes I can't answer my fucking phone leave a message" or something similar your friends may think it is cute the people trying to give you a job don't. Leave a simple message "You have reached the personal voice mail of The Ferngoddess I am sorry I missed your call. Please leave me a message and I will return your call as soon as possible." Leave Jesus out of it.
Sit down and Google your name. Check your Facebook , Myspace , Blogger ETC companies do searches for these now and many a job has been lost over having half dressed photos on Myspace. If the company you are applying for can find it so can their clients. Tone it down and change your profile picture.
That's all I have. Can you tell I have had a rough few weeks?
Do not hit on the person doing the interview. I once had a guy walk in and tell me I was just as sexy as my voice and then during the interview went on to ask me out over and over again. He kept tell me how hot I was. He didn't get the job
Sunday, February 08, 2009
Coupons for Condoms
It so happens that in today’s Sunday paper there was a $2.00 off coupon for condoms. YEPPIE discount coupons you gotta love them. It is some how more exciting than picking them up from the local free clinic. Don’t get me wrong that was one of the great things about college were the fish bowls of condoms all over the place. Heck I went to parties where they had baskets of condoms sitting out. What is about growing up that they stop doing that? At what point is it that you stop drinking “The Beast” and start paying for you condoms. It could be that those two come together. The true sign of adulthood more expensive beer and you pay for your birth control. It is either that or pay for diapers.
What could be that ultimate HA was that in the next section of coupons in today’s paper there was also a coupon a pregnancy test. It was only a $1.00 off. So I clipped out both. I mean let’s be realistic here. If you are using condoms there is a chance you might need the pregnancy test.
I mean I do have that ball gown in my closet just in case so why not. Isn’t that all you need in that little dress purse anyway?
What could be that ultimate HA was that in the next section of coupons in today’s paper there was also a coupon a pregnancy test. It was only a $1.00 off. So I clipped out both. I mean let’s be realistic here. If you are using condoms there is a chance you might need the pregnancy test.
I mean I do have that ball gown in my closet just in case so why not. Isn’t that all you need in that little dress purse anyway?
Friday, February 06, 2009
Stolen life
My life has been stolen from me. I can give you the list Domino's ,Facebook or just the Internet in general. I am sure I can find someone else to blame. But despite what my Mother may think this is not her fault. I think at this point the only thing that keeps Facebook from totally taking over is the fact my lap top is in the shop.
::Shameless Plug(BTW if you need your computer fixed up let me know my buddy is the one fixing it and he is really good at what he does) End Shameless plug::
I need help. Please send tips I will let you know when I have the pay pal account set up so you do that.
::Shameless Plug(BTW if you need your computer fixed up let me know my buddy is the one fixing it and he is really good at what he does) End Shameless plug::
I need help. Please send tips I will let you know when I have the pay pal account set up so you do that.
Monday, February 02, 2009
Your Letter
You all know when I go deep cleaning in drawers and what not you are all in trouble because I am going to find something and it is going to bring back a flood of memories and you are going to have to hear about it.
I was looking for my 2007 taxes which I had tore up the house trying to find. I had looked under my bed , in my dresser , in the closest , in my file cabinet and even in the attic I went through my desk once more and could not find my taxes but I did find a white envelope without anything on at but something in it. SO I opened it and read it. It was a love letter. From a man I at one time cared very deeply for things happened and we each moved on. So when I got this love letter from him long after we had both moved on it came as a bit of a shock. I don't know that after I got the letter if I was fair to him or if we were fair to each other. Or maybe if it came down to the past had done to much to each of us. Who we were still wouldn't let it work. I wouldn't let it work. I never doubted his feelings. But I think about him and hope he is well and happy. We have not spoken in sometime. Sadly that can be for the best. I wonder if it is? I often hope when I visit Chattanooga I will run into him. He is just one of those people I want to know is OK. So tucked in a drawer in a plain white envelope is the profession of his love.
Anyway it just got me in thinking. I did find my taxes in the garage. WTF?!?!
But I do still have your letter and Porfiler was a great time.
I was looking for my 2007 taxes which I had tore up the house trying to find. I had looked under my bed , in my dresser , in the closest , in my file cabinet and even in the attic I went through my desk once more and could not find my taxes but I did find a white envelope without anything on at but something in it. SO I opened it and read it. It was a love letter. From a man I at one time cared very deeply for things happened and we each moved on. So when I got this love letter from him long after we had both moved on it came as a bit of a shock. I don't know that after I got the letter if I was fair to him or if we were fair to each other. Or maybe if it came down to the past had done to much to each of us. Who we were still wouldn't let it work. I wouldn't let it work. I never doubted his feelings. But I think about him and hope he is well and happy. We have not spoken in sometime. Sadly that can be for the best. I wonder if it is? I often hope when I visit Chattanooga I will run into him. He is just one of those people I want to know is OK. So tucked in a drawer in a plain white envelope is the profession of his love.
Anyway it just got me in thinking. I did find my taxes in the garage. WTF?!?!
But I do still have your letter and Porfiler was a great time.
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