Friday, December 14, 2007

30 inches

There is an article in today’s Tennessean (Nashville’s idea of morning news) about the State looking at how it would handle 30 inches of snow. Anyone who has spent even one winter in the South will know that they would not. The first thing the State should look at is how it handles 3 inches of snow.
Anyone not familiar with a Southern snow call it goes a bit like this.

Three days before snow

Mr. Weather Man:
Snow is coming to the Nashville area we are looking at 2- 3 inches. Three days from now.

There is a MAD RUSH to Kroger to buy bread, milk, and staples for several days. There will be long lines at the gas station to fill up your car. Some people will return to the gas station each day to top off until the threat of the impending disaster has passed. With this kind of weather people will not be able to leave the house. The closer we get and the more they talk of the snow that is coming the worse it gets. Candles, batteries, and generators are hard to come by. We are all going to die. Block Buster has a run on DVDS there is not a new release or game thinga ma bob to be found. We are in this for the long haul. DON’T YOU KNOW!!! YOU could be trapped for DAYS!!

The Night before:
Across the bottom of the screen will scroll a list of the schools that are closed. YES folks they call for the possibility of snow and a light dusting at that and the area public schools close, so do the daycare centers, private schools, and a few businesses. Schools that do not close worried parents keep their children home for fear they might get stuck at school.
(Now albeit this is a reality it happened to me during the great snow sometimes in the early 1980’s they closed school at noon and I arrived home 12 hours later having ridden with a teacher I beat some of the kids that got on a bus at noon home. But as I recall there was something freaky about that snow)

When you wake up and there is snow you will find the mall closed. And nuts that should have stayed home out driving 10 mph and slamming on their breaks trying to get to work. HELLOOOOO don’t ride my ass stay ten feet behind me you fool. The military base at Fort Campbell will close. Yes FOLKS THE SCREAMING EAGALS THE 101ST Airborne. Can’t handle a little snow. And we give theses people guns

The city is out putting brine on the road some kind of salt mix. City buses are running their snow routes the extra shifts are called in at the police dept.

If you have ever lived in a normal city the shock of the events will kill you I swear.

BUT 30 INCHES here in Tennessee?!?! Would make Katrina look like a well run operation.

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