Sunday, July 16, 2006

To End.....

I am such a lazy bum. I spent most of the day laying on the sofa I didn’t do crap today I left the house to get the Sunday Paper out of the driveway around 8:30 am and then I left to go to Dairy Queen to get a Blizzard about 12 hours later. I called in to Domino’s tonight I was not feeling well I anyway. I napped on the sofa for over an hour until my Mom called to let me know that my Aunt Dot has gone into the hospital and it does not look like she will come back out.
She has been this sick before and recovered. She has been suffering from a massive clot in her legs. And for the last few years has been unable to care for herself and has been living with my cousin and her family. The fact that she could be dying is sad yes but I am not brought to tears. It is that moving on to the next world, to the next stage in life is better. I THINK that the concept of my feelings might be hard to explain. I am relived that she will be released of her pain and of her earthbound body. Then move forward to the next stage of her life, what ever that choice is for her.
Isn’t there a poem about the Sweet Release of Death? I can’t find it of there is one. Why some deaths easier to take and others are leave you sobbing every time someone ask you “How are you doing?” I try to have this it is better attitude but some times it just freakin sucks. But for Aunt Dot today it does not suck. When her husband, my Uncle Frank, passed away I was at a church retreat with my youth group. He had been sick for a long time and had gotten much worse he suffered each day he continued to live. Our leaders had sent us off to pray once we had all arrived and gotten settled. I stepped over to a spot and prayed this prayer. “Please take away my Uncle Franks pain.” I happened to look at my watch it was 8:05 PM. The next morning after breakfast we were in a group activity and my mother walked in and sat down. I wondered why in the world she would be there. Libby made it over first and began to cry. I walked over to her and she told me that my Uncle Frank had died last night. “When?” I asked. “8:09” Was her answer. So tonight I will ask that same prayer for Dot. To end her pain.

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