Ouch X'S 10

I swear I don't remember if I cussed or not. I am quite sure I did, Because I have a notarise potty mouth. I had a Super Bowl Party on Sunday. I was planning a chili cook off. I invited several of the guest to bring their own chili and we would try it and pick our favorite. I made two kinds and doubled each. I got the bright idea to use my little food processor to chop the onions because who in their right minds wants to chop 5 cups of onions by hand. I was in the process of cleaning up the kitchen and washing the blade to the food processor when I sliced open the tip of my right index finger and I began to scream. I then put my finger under cold water and realized fairly quickly that I was going to bleed to death from my finger and fall dead on the kitchen floor and I had company coming. Dead bodies in the kitchen tend to put a real damper on a party.
One of my roommates had come into the kitchen and was standing next to me just watching me bleed to death. I looked at him and asked him "would you get me a paper towel?" He got it and stood there. "Would you fold it?" He did and handed it to me. I applied firm pressure and held it for a moment and took a peak then headed to my room to get my shoes . My roommates are running around the house looking for gauze and can't find any I am in my bathroom floor with my hand over my head.
Those sweet boys bring me a wash cloth , a sham wow , peroxide and rubbing alcohol. I am going to the ER. The paper towel roommate wanted us to go get gauze. Big roomie took me to the ER as soon as we got in the car he was like what ER ?
FYI when you go in with your hand over head they get you right back. There is no waiting in the lobby . They got me right back and the folks in this ER thought I was funny and laughed at my jokes. I told them in most of the ERs I have been in those people had big sticks up their asses.
Then they gave me 2 shots and in case you do not know. I HATE NEEDLES!!!! Yes , I know you hate them too. But I am like a child I have to look away. I kick my legs. The tetanus was not so bad it was the one on the tip of the right index finger you remember the one I had just sliced open and almost bleed to death right there in front of the chili. That one hurt like a S.O.B. but they had also given me 2 lor tab so I wasn't feeling a thing. LALALA They gave me 4 stitches in the tip of my finger.
They got me in and out of the ER in less than an hour and a half. I was home before my Super Bowl Party and my Chili was a hit both kinds. I was high and the Saints Won. Today I have not taken any pain killers not even OTC.
So I am fine
How are you?