The Drama

The Dramatic fit of yesterday where I thew myself on the floor and whaled about the ups and the downs and the oh whoa is me thing. Yes that thing. Well I am done now.
I drank the kool aid. Though it was the one with PGA but sometimes its is about the same thing. I drank that crap straight once and it took me about 6 years to think about drinking Jim Beam again.

Seriously sleep and clean gutters helped a ton. Crisp fall air. Ah hello new day.

I am still here?

Maybe I am not really here and I have left my body and traveled somewhere else. Maybe if I say it I will feel better but then I wont feel better because it could hurt someone and that is not worth it.

I am eatten alive with feelings of envy and joy, self-sufficient and self-destruction, self-loathing and self-love, letting go or taking control, and then there's that other thing to keep on faking it or let the world know and everyone I know just how utterly bat shit crazy I feel.

Dancing

When my roommate woke me up coming in the house this morning as I was passed out on the sofa. I was dreaming I was dancing with this extremely handsome Marine in this country bar with saw dust in on the floor. He was dressed in his fatigues Like I would be in a country bar. A mostly empty one. But we danced and we kissed and we talked . It was almost as if we were the only ones there which maybe why the bar was mostly empty. LOL. When I woke up I was depressed it was just a dream and that the romance and the dance had ended. I headed to bed and then when I woke up for the day I was depressed that I was depressed for feeling lonely at having blah blah blah.

But hey I did get to dance.

So what

So what would you all like to hear about? I am out of ideas.

39

I did it I turned 39 on Friday. It is not like I had a choice in the matter. I was rather looking forward to it and all the things to come in the next few days.
Lunch with my boss and a friend then I had dinner with my folks and sister Friday night. Next it was off for drinks with Friends at this fabulous place in Nashville South Street with this great "tree house" area. I brought in 39 with a bang and it subsequently kicked my ass. I drank way to much and well I lived.
Did I tell you that my sometimes not so awesome roommate became a totally awesome roommate when he gave me a new Garbage Despoil how freakin cool is he. He might piss me off now and again but that is a totally awesome and unexpected gift.
Saturday was the day I spent laying on the sofa wondering why I felt so old and hoping to get better to make it to David's where I had been summoned for a chili party before we went to the Vandy Game. When I arrived after being called to hurry up going WTF. My buddy Ricky and his husband had come in to surprise me for my birthday and head to the game with me. I have some freakin awesome friends.

But that folks is not the end of YAY The Goddess is 39. My very good and Dear Friend Stephanie is going with me to a Cabin at Rock Island State Park here in Tennessee. I can't wait to leave. Thursday for 4 days away from it all.