Self vs. Higher Self

I was there. I was caught up I was saying to myself.

Self: you are all caught up you could quit that second job and just relax until everything comes through you'll be OK.

Higher Self: look here you should wait till the money is in the bank. You know that is the smart thing to do. You know that as soon as you think you're in the clear something happens.

Self: Well of course it is the smart thing to do. And of course something happens it always does. It is like coming home from school early and having sex in your parents bed only for them to pull in the drive way. ( Higher Self rolling eyes) < lots of whinning here > But I want to quit my other job. < stomping feet>


Higher Self: Look here it is really not going to be that much longer. Stop whining. Your friends are really sick of hearing you whine about it. Besides something has happened

Self: How the Hell can they be sick of hearing me whine when I have no friends left because I am always working. What do you mean something has happened? Did I get my check from the IRS?

Higher Self: Yes you got it.

Self: Yes I need that for.....(checking account) wait a freakin minute Well thanks a lot!! You are supposed to cheer me up.

Higher Self: I was trying.

Self: UGH!!

Higher Self: Still you got that good news you have those contracts and have signed them and turned them in so its a matter of time


Self: FREAKIN TIME!!
I can't win.

Inflammatory Breast Cancer

I had never heard of IBC. Have you? I checked it out on snoopes. Then here http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/factsheet/sites-types/ibc . I ask that if you have a bigger blog roll than me or lots and lots of Girl Friends that you pass this on to them.

What is this thing called a snow blower?

All these people write blogs about about having to drag out the snow blower and blow the side walk and driveway or they'll get a ticket. Which is a shock to me they write you tickets for snow in our driveway? How totally absurd. In the south they will write you a ticket for blowing snow in your drive way but I don't write that kind of blog.

Bunnies

Here is the bunny I promised you all. I know I said you all were going to get this happy bunny post but hell didn't any of you people see that happy bunny love story Fatal Attraction? But I swear this is not going to be that bad.

I have great news I got my lap top back what does this mean you ask. It means that I can post from my living room in front of the TV or better yet like I am now from my bed, because I can't sleep. It also means I can download pictures and I can add pics to my facebook page. I know this is the news you have been waiting to hear from me. Now you are saying WOW my days will be so much better now that The Goddess has her lap top back.

There are many other pluses to this. I can work from home a few days a month. Or better yet a nice local coffee house. I can travel to another city and do work there too. Mwahahaha

It is also going to much easier to plot world domination from my lap top. But it is just after 1 AM here and if I don't get some sleep I will be way behind schedule in world domination so I am going to need minions.

Again with the Deep thought

So my Friend Steph is apparently on this deep thought kick here as of late and has poised yet another deep question she says your answer can't be exercise and drink water. This is also where I swear on my favorite comfy pants that my next blog will be more up beat with cheery things like bunnies and signing raccoons.

What is there in your life that you think you should be doing but don't? Why?

I really think I should be going back to school and working on my Degree. I somehow feel uncompleted without it and as if my life is missing something.

Why don't I? Well, off the bat it is because I am already working 2 jobs I don't need to add school to that. I keep thinking that once I am down to one I will be able to put the focus to school that it really needs. Put on my bobby socks and saddle shoes and go get em.

Secondly well deep inside me in the very dark places of my mind and psyche where I do not let people even me. I don't think I can do it. I see myself as a failure. I am scared to death of heights but I want to jump out of a plane and meet this fear head on. But this fear has a deep hold on me and I would much rather stand in the door of a plane thousands of feet above ground and think about jumping out than face school again. I mean if I fail to jump out of a plane people look at you and say I wouldn't have jumped either.

Then it makes me mad as hell because that bitch wins. The one that told me I couldn't do it in the 6th grade. So I am filled with fear and shame. I am full of shame for not having finished school and full of fear to try and that I never will. Then I am back to shame and we are on to yet another deep question what is your fear.

So I should be going to school and I am not because I am afraid to fail.

No TA TA'S

This isn't honestly all the beads I have. I have many many more. This is a display from the first night we went out. I am home from Mobile none the worse for wear. I ate , I drank , I had a good time and I kept my shirt on the whole time.

The fact there was a fleet in town from the USS HAWES made it hard. Here Sailor Sailor. But seriously I was well behaved.

I did not have Internet access there in Bayou La Batre. My friend had an air card and even that didn't work. So we were out in the middle of no where. The good part of being out in the middle of the Bayou was fresh shrimp at $4 a pound. Yummmy. I brought some home and plan on having a shrimp boil tonight.

So being out there in the middle of no where I did not get to wish RWK a Happy Birthday on Sunday. Sorry I am late. Hope it was a good one.

I was able to let go of a lot of stress while away. That tightness in my chest is gone. But I didn't gain any clarity on other issues going through my head. I did not arrive home with the "THIS IS WHAT I AM GOING TO DO." I still don't have a clue what my next move should be.

I had told the people I traveled with that I was not going to return with them but I was going to stay there in Mobile. "Really? What would you do here?" They asked. My reply had to be honest and the answers was "nothing. I 'd just be running from the problems I didn't want to face at home and those tend to follow you where ever you go." So I came home and now I am going to have to figure out what tune is playing so I can face it. I hope it is a little cheery and not the Storm Trooper March

No Table

This year there was no table for ONE. Don't get all squeally on me and think I met someone that would not be the case.I decided I could either afford to go to Mobile for Mardi Gras with some girlfriends or spend that money on dinner for myself. So I did not go out all dressed up alone for Valentines Day. I freakin worked. I was supposed to deliver pizza but this weekend at job one has been just one major disaster after another and I would have had to cancel my dinner reservations anyway. Not that I was any less ticked off. So I spent valentines day not meeting with my Paranormal Group ( which I have missed the last 3 months we met because of freakin work) not having lunch with some GF like we planned but working and very very grumpy. Because I was stuck at job One long enough that I could not go to job two so I lost money because hey I am on freakin salary.

There was no wow I am wonderful, I love me ,I am great this year. There was a large amount of self pity , loathing and all around grumpiness. But I lived. I am still in a sour ass mood. Thursday can not get soon enough. And if one person ask how was your Valentine's day I might just punch them in the face. So how the hell are you?

What's it like when you have the most fun?

I did this for Steph because I like her best.

I think for me when I have the most fun I am number one With Friends.I am relaxed and at ease. I love it when you can sit ; talk and let it all flow you don't have to worry about what you say. When silence does come it is not uncomfortable it just is. When you laugh so hard that you cry.
When you disagree it is just that you disagree its not a fight our an argument and you learn a new point and can come away going gee I never thought of it quite like that.
It is those times when I feel I come away richer for the time spent with the people.

So What's it like when you have the most fun?

Tips For Job Hunters

I do HR work. I review and check references. Here are a few tips from what I have seen. And because people are stupid.

Now I don’t claim to have good sentence structure which if you read my blog you know this. But....


Dress: Come in to fill out your application dressed nicely flip-flops; shorts and a T-shirt are a no no. Tone down the perfume/cologne, Comb and style your hair, tone down the make-up

Previous Employment: Already have all your background information written down. Asking for a phone book to look up a past employer is not good. Have their address as well as phone number. Remember many companies will require you to fill out an application even though you handed in a resume. Some going back 5 to 10years.

Make sure you have your Driver License, Social Security Card Etc. with you. If you have a special certification CPR, Nurses Licenses have that with you also. Copies of other Certifications might be helpful too bring those along. Without an Advanced Degree we require a copy of the High School Diploma.

Personal References Check with your personal references before you put their name, number and Address down. You want to be sure you have all the correct information and they are willing to speak for you. You might also want to have whom they work for and their title some employers ask for this.

I called a personal reference for one person and they refused to speak to me because he had been her supervisor. "Saying I can not give out a personal reference for an employee".

I have also called only to be told that I have the wrong number that “Joe” no longer has this number and I have had it for 2 years.

I have had the misfortune of calling and the person had passed away months ago.

CHECK WITH PEOPLE

DO NOT USE RELATIVES this means cousins, husbands, wives, live-in BF OR GF ,In-laws etc. It just looks bad.

Make sure you are using people that will return a phone call and avoid using the ones you know call back a missed call and say “ yeah I got a call from this number”. That does not help YOU when I am making calls for 15 applicants a day and I have to call three references and go back 5 years of employment for each. I have called a lot of people today.

If You are trying to get a job use people who will help you get that job. You want to use people that can put together a sentence. I always ask what are
"Suzie's" strenghs and I am often left having to explain to the person I called what I mean by strenghs. You want people that can talk about you in a positive light. People who aren't shocked to know you are looking for a job.

It is simple people you call up your friend "Hey Steph I am applying for some jobs and was wondering of it was OK if I use you as a personal reference." "Thank you" "Let me verify your info is 555-123-4567 still the best way for you to be reached? Or would you rather me use your office number?"

Always have 3 to 5 people whoes names you can give and give names of people that know about your skills in the area you are applying.

OTHER: Turn off your cell phone if you can not stay off your phone long enough to fill out an application how are you going to stay off long enough to do the job you are applying for.

Leave your kids, husband, wife, or friend etc outside better yet at home. If they keep coming in to see how much longer you are going to be then I sure do not need that kind of distraction in the work place.

If you are offered a job and something happens that will prevent you from stating when you say you can, stay in touch with the company. An applicant once applied and was granted a job a death in the family prevented her from starting when she stated she could. We phone her at 2 and 3 weeks after the death to see if she was still interested in the job she did not call back until 6 weeks or more after the stated start date asking if she still had a job. The Answer was No. Had she been in touch we would have worked with her but her lack of action showed something about her we were not interested in and the offer was retracted.

PLEASE PLEASE if you have some crazy ass cutesy little ring back tone or message change it while you are looking for a job. I always think twice when I get this " Hey all my Bitches and Hoes I can't answer my fucking phone leave a message" or something similar your friends may think it is cute the people trying to give you a job don't. Leave a simple message "You have reached the personal voice mail of The Ferngoddess I am sorry I missed your call. Please leave me a message and I will return your call as soon as possible." Leave Jesus out of it.

Sit down and Google your name. Check your Facebook , Myspace , Blogger ETC companies do searches for these now and many a job has been lost over having half dressed photos on Myspace. If the company you are applying for can find it so can their clients. Tone it down and change your profile picture.

That's all I have. Can you tell I have had a rough few weeks?

Do not hit on the person doing the interview. I once had a guy walk in and tell me I was just as sexy as my voice and then during the interview went on to ask me out over and over again. He kept tell me how hot I was. He didn't get the job

Coupons for Condoms

It so happens that in today’s Sunday paper there was a $2.00 off coupon for condoms. YEPPIE discount coupons you gotta love them. It is some how more exciting than picking them up from the local free clinic. Don’t get me wrong that was one of the great things about college were the fish bowls of condoms all over the place. Heck I went to parties where they had baskets of condoms sitting out. What is about growing up that they stop doing that? At what point is it that you stop drinking “The Beast” and start paying for you condoms. It could be that those two come together. The true sign of adulthood more expensive beer and you pay for your birth control. It is either that or pay for diapers.

What could be that ultimate HA was that in the next section of coupons in today’s paper there was also a coupon a pregnancy test. It was only a $1.00 off. So I clipped out both. I mean let’s be realistic here. If you are using condoms there is a chance you might need the pregnancy test.

I mean I do have that ball gown in my closet just in case so why not. Isn’t that all you need in that little dress purse anyway?

Stolen life

My life has been stolen from me. I can give you the list Domino's ,Facebook or just the Internet in general. I am sure I can find someone else to blame. But despite what my Mother may think this is not her fault. I think at this point the only thing that keeps Facebook from totally taking over is the fact my lap top is in the shop.

::Shameless Plug(BTW if you need your computer fixed up let me know my buddy is the one fixing it and he is really good at what he does) End Shameless plug::


I need help. Please send tips I will let you know when I have the pay pal account set up so you do that.

Your Letter

You all know when I go deep cleaning in drawers and what not you are all in trouble because I am going to find something and it is going to bring back a flood of memories and you are going to have to hear about it.

I was looking for my 2007 taxes which I had tore up the house trying to find. I had looked under my bed , in my dresser , in the closest , in my file cabinet and even in the attic I went through my desk once more and could not find my taxes but I did find a white envelope without anything on at but something in it. SO I opened it and read it. It was a love letter. From a man I at one time cared very deeply for things happened and we each moved on. So when I got this love letter from him long after we had both moved on it came as a bit of a shock. I don't know that after I got the letter if I was fair to him or if we were fair to each other. Or maybe if it came down to the past had done to much to each of us. Who we were still wouldn't let it work. I wouldn't let it work. I never doubted his feelings. But I think about him and hope he is well and happy. We have not spoken in sometime. Sadly that can be for the best. I wonder if it is? I often hope when I visit Chattanooga I will run into him. He is just one of those people I want to know is OK. So tucked in a drawer in a plain white envelope is the profession of his love.

Anyway it just got me in thinking. I did find my taxes in the garage. WTF?!?!
But I do still have your letter and Porfiler was a great time.

CELABRATION TIME!!!

It happened not 10 minutes ago. We got the Initial License from the State!!! ONE JOB HERE I COME!!! I want to cry I am so happy. I have been waiting and working on this for over 2 years. And it is Finally here. OK there are a few more forms with the State to sign but there is a BRIGHT LIGHT at the end of the tunnel and I have hope. This all sucks by the fact that I am working all weekend delivering pizza. But this is the last SUPER BOWL weekend I deliver pizza.

I am not going to walk in and quit tonight though I want to. I am going to wait till the money is in the bank but who wants to help me plan a party?

Which Door?

If you could pay your bills and then had money left over what would you do? And I mean send each of the people you owe money to what you owe them and not send enough to each to keep them from shutting off the cable or the lights. But go OH I owe NES 73.25 and send them 73.25 and when you were done there was money there to say I don't know buy a ticket to Jamaica with.

Or do you reach a point where you go humm screw Discover I already owe them a bazillion dollars.

So I am faced with this well issue. To do something wise or be say we STUPID. The fact is stupid can be fun. I have had lots of fun doing stupid things. Though when you are caught and sitting in the Principal's office your like "oops." And you have to weigh if doing this stupid thing is worth the backlash.

But then there is this part of you that really wants to rationalize what your are thinking as not stupid.

I am about 95% sure I am getting some form of a tax return.

So do I buy a new computer with a CD Burner and the ability to download and store sound bites and do power point and other fun stuff.

Or

Do I pay Discover. I mean my credit is shot to hell so it is not going to get worse I can pay them later. Right?

This is what is going on in my head. Discover vs. Computer.

I know I don't have to have a computer. I can take my tax return and pay off a good hunk of Discover but I can also say the reverse. One is wise the other well not so smart But I don't claim to be a rocket scientist.

But as a rule of thumb for me if I make plans for my money say to pay a big hunk off a bill with money coming in. Something big will happen and I will have to say buy a new hot water heater or something like that.

Maybe it would be best to wait until I have the money or maybe I could get it all in ones and find a stripper and shove it in his G-String one bill at a time. If I did it that way who would want to come?

BLANK

I have nothing. I am not filled at all with a sudden burst of inspiration. I can normally sit down and start talking about how I have nothing to say and a page will flow out. I can welcome my friend Mel to the bloggy world. HELLO MEL.

Flash Back

Here we are. Kim Murray Fitzwater, ME , and Holly Yarborough Whitehurst. When we met for lunch yesterday it had been 21 years since we had seen each other. These are people from high school. That place we all hated to be. Kim and Holly are both married with kids. Holly is still funny as hell. For that matter so is Kim. We talked about how angry we were then. Mad at the world. Who was where. Who had died. Who we had seen and who we hadn't. As we went through the list I was shocked that I had kept track of a lot of people. I knew where they were. WOW, I surprised myself.

There was a time in my life when I really felt I had no need for the people from high school. But I do. I sure hope I am not the same person I was then. They aren't. I enjoyed it the time went by so quickly.

We just could not get in 21 years in such a short time. These are women I definitely want in my life. I think they would enrich the mixture that is me. Who can I add to the mix next?

What to say ......an update

It is freakin cold. When I went to lunch at Noon it wa 20. The High for today was suppossed to be 25 I don't think it is gonna make it. Can you say wholey shit batman that is cold. The low tonight 13. Makes me wish I hjad someone to snuggle with.

That plane landed right on the river. That rocks.

I am going to Mardi Gras in Mobile. Deatials to come.

I am going to Iowa for the Porn and Corn II Tour. OK really there is a haunted Ax murder house there. more on that to or is too or also. Confused yet?

My laptop has mother board issues the little plugy thing wont stay pluged into the mother board to hold a charge. Did I tell you this?

All my pics are stuck on my lap top and I can't download new with going to Walmart and getting a virus. Who would have thought you could get sick at Walmart.


I have on rag wool socks.

Oh yea one more thing that jacket is not a winter white and even I wont wear something like that before Easter.

GIRL POWER!!!!!!

Conversation Interuptius

After my last blog post I received an anonymous comment with a link http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28538509. That link is to a story about an Author and Spiritual Leader Neale Donald Walsch whose books I have read and ideas I have to a certain extent embraced. He has groups that meet allover the country to read and discuss his books and ideas. He holds expensive seminars around the country. Neale has written his books based on his Conversations with God thus the title of the book.

I was part of a local discussion group here in Nashville and the group took a turn in leadership I decided I did not want to follow and I left. But I also deeply felt my time in the group had run its course.

OK back to point as I again am rambling sorry but it is one of my lovable qualities right?
Neale had told a story and claimed it as his own. It was not his story but he said it was. It was in fact a story that had been copyrighted by someone else. Oopps.

I was not devastated but I have spent time thinking about how someone could take a story and so deeply internalize it that he thought of it as his own.
Then I look at say my family. I have told a story about my Mother back handing me at the dinner table and her dinner ring busting my lip open. My Mother will say "I never back handed you. You are just making stuff up!" In my mind the abuse happened in my mothers she only lightly swatted me now and again. Who should one believe? We each have our on account of events they are both vastly different.

I think it is very unfortunate that Mr.Walsch took a story that was not his and made it his own. Perhalps I should be scorned for telling people my Mother used to knock the snot out of me. Either way someone is making shit up.

Humans are not perfect. Are there still people out there that do shit that totally blows my mind? Yep. I am still shocked things people do. But this not so much.


I also always thought paying large sums of money to hear him speak was rather cultish

Little DANCE

I have a follower!! Can you believe that? I was so down and depressed you know the whole no one likes everyone hates me. NO ONE reads my blog. It has been quite horrid but now I have proof that there is one person out there that reads my blog. Of course later she might want a kidney.

Speaking of following I followed the traffic this morning through the drive thru at Hardies and did not get what I ordered I can feel the grease coming out of my pours and I did even really enjoy my sausage ham cheese biscuit. The decaf coffee was ok and their coffee sucks bricks.

I have however managed to get Wedensday afternoon off and Thursday I am going to Chattanooga for girls night!! I have not been in since the summer so this will be a nice trip. I am really looking forward to it. That is two reason to dance. Lets see by the end of the day how many more reasons I have to shake my groove thang.

This is so me

http://www.gocomics.com/adamathome/2009/01/03/

So a few weeks ago I went to Sonic got me a Chilli Cheese Dog , Large Onion Ring and a Chocolate Shake and came home to watch tv. People laugh when I say I am being watched but I swear to you there is someone in my home. So when I go all totally BAT SHIT CRAZY you'll know to check the comics

But I did ask a few people if I should feel gulity eatting that and watching the Biggest Loser.

2008

2008
1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before? I went to visit Steph and her husband T in St. Petersburg, FL

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I don’t want to talk about my resolutions. I resolve to be a better person in 2009 than I was in 2008.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Yes

4. Did anyone close to you die? Yes my neighbor Mike passed away and a client.

5. What countries did you visit? Never left the USA but I traveled far and wide in my dreams.

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008? ONE JOB!!

7. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why. My birthday vacation to see Steph. I saw history being made with the election of Obama.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? I don’t feel I achieved a lot this year.I got my student loan paid off.

9. What was your biggest failure this year? Not knowing what I achieved; self-doubt; feeling inadequate; forgetting who I am.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Only my pride was wounded.

11. What was the best thing you bought? Breaks and tires

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? The little people who everyday do the right thing no matter how hard it is just because it is the right thing to do.


13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Where can I start AIG, FORD, GM, Bush, etc.

14. Where did most of your money go? Car payment, house payment.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Did I tell you I got to go to Florida to see Steph for my birthday?

16. What song will always remind you of 2008? Heck I don't have a clue.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. Happier or sadder? Got a big old case of the blues
ii. Thinner or fatter? Fatter.
iii .richer or poorer? Poorer

18. What do you wish you'd done more? Hanging out with friends, traveling, exercising.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of? Working.
20. How will you be spending Christmas? Here in Nashville with my family.
21. Did you fall in love in 2008? You know I thought I had but then I pulled my head out of my ass and realized it wasn’t love at all but gas.

22. How many one-night stands? 2 or 3 .

23. What was your favorite TV program? TV? I like CSI, NCIS, How I Met Your Mother

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? I don't hate people but I sure as heck don't really like a few people anymore.

25. What was the best book you read? Nothing really rocked me this year.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery? That band that sings that sing about that thing . Does Neil Patrick Harris have a band yet?

27. What did you want and get? The greatest friends in the world. I am so blessed with a great group friends whom I would not trade for the world. Ok maybe one of I would trade but only for the cash.

28. What was your favorite film of this year? I can’t remember what I saw

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I was 38. On my birthday I went to dinner with my family. For my birthday Libby gave me a cooking class at Viking and if I have not told Steph flew me to Florida for my birthday!!!

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Staying true to who I am.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008? Are shoulder pads still in style?

32. What kept you sane? At this point I am not sure I am still sane. I feel like I have slipped off and really lost part of who I am.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? I am over them.

34. What political issue stirred you the most? The War, Gun Control, Equal Human Rights, THE 2008 PRESIDENTAL ELECTION

35. Who did you miss this year? Jonathan and myself.

36. Who was the best new person you met? I really got a chance to meet and talk with T while I was in Florida. I honestly like that guy.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008:Sometimes life just freakin sucks.
38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: “We Shall Over Come”

Uncle Jay's Thoughts on 2008

http://www.unclejayexplains.com/media/UJ%2012-22-08.wmv



Yeah yeah I know in 2009 I will learn to imbed links in my blogg.

HEY YOU!! Stop laughing I will. Really I am serious.

And some where the stars of "How do I look?" die

Did you see it. I sure as hell caught it in today's paper Plaid and those leather red wings with the leather shoe laces are back in style. And I get to do a little dance that all my plaid flannel is once again cool. I mean like I really care it is warm. So is silk but I don't have to dry clean flannel. So can I do the whole grunge thing again that I was doing way before it was cool? SHUT UP SHAMUS! Once again hanging on to old clothes has paid off and I don't have to rush out and buy it when I own vintage. I know you want to touch me don't you? Sit next to me in class because I am so cool. Yeah I thought so. I am THE FERN.

Not the normal

I am still working on my normal New Years Post however I have been thinking back deeper on 2008 and what I want for myself in 2009. What I want to accomplish.

I have spent much of 2008 in a funk it could probably be better classified as depression. My normal News Years Post is all depressing so I am going to fix it before Wednesday. My bloggs have been depressing. Why write and bring down all 4 of you? I want to let go of this I am not good enough. A lot of my issues this year stem from a feeling of inadequacy. I am a poor writer face it my English sucks and I live here. I have run on sentences and badly formed paragraphs etc. I have extremely limited computer skills and I lack a college degree. I want to be Steph’s # 55 and find my fantastic attitude. I seem to have lost that. I miss that girl. Hell I am smart and I know my stuff. I am a well informed person and pretty well read. And I am funny as hell. I want to find that again.

So 2009 is going to be fine. I want to get out of debt. My mortgage will not be what I am getting out of but my car should be paid off by February. That statement could come back to bite me in the ass as in my family we pay off a car and then it gets totaled so before I mail the last payment I am going to take a spirit stick to my car and bless it I might even burn a candle of protection in it just to be safe.

Then Discover will get their money. I can start paying them off. There are a few more out there and I will have to go digging through and find them. But I am not to worried people who you owe money to have a way of finding you.

I would like to spend less time working in 2009 and as I get bills paid off that should happen.

Things at work are slatted to change in the first few months of 2009 though this has been a promise for sometime the staying has a lot to do with the feelings of inadequacy. And now so does the economy. I have got to decide in 2009 if this is what I want to do.

Somewhere in all of this I have got to get back to school.

I have a list of things I NEED to get done around the house. Most of these I put off working on this year because I have been in such a funk I want to spend more time out doors in the sun digging in the dirt. I want to get my house clean and keep it that way. And I would love to knock at least 2 things off my home to do list (things like new screen doors, garage door, paint, etc) things that don’t have to be done but need to be.

I want to get back to eating better. I used to never hit the drive thru and I want to get back to doing things that way. I want to start to exercise again which should help with the funk thing.

I have got to get to where I set a goal and stick to it. How many times have we done this in 2008? I am going to eat better and work out more and I never get there. I never get out of bed and the next morning I am in the drive thru at Hardies.

I used to write in my personal journal nightly and then record my dreams each morning. Once a week I would go back and study those dreams. I miss that too.

I miss time with friends and want to spend more time in 2009 with people I love and enjoy spending time with.


My resolution each year is to be a better person at the end of the year than I was at the beginning I still have not put my finger on what I have done this year to better myself. What deep personal growth I have done. I am though one to believe that I might not see right now what lessons I have gained this year I am sure that one day down the road it will come to me in one of those big huge AAHA moments when I realize I was not that stagnate after all.





Other thoughts and challenges that have arisen.

Leave it to Steph. Before I left to work on this I had left my status on facebook at thinking of my goals for 2009. She has commented to me do the 9 fun things in 2009 with me from our 43 things list well there sister what about we here and now plan a girls weekend for 2009. Then we can work on staying in touch with friends.

Christmas Memories

My Mom made my sister and I dresses and sewed bells in the hem so when we walked they would jingle.

I remember the Christmas it was 17 below here in Nashville and the pipes froze and the guy at the HoJo told us if we would bring our own towels and soap and stay off the beds he would let us shower FOR FREE.

I remember waking my parents up at 5:30 on Christmas Mornings and them begging us to go back to bed.

My Dad going down stairs before all of us to turn on the tree lights and getting the camera. Then standing at the top of the den stairs with our mouths open.

The boss my Mom had who would slaughter a hog and give FRESH Sausage as his gift and his wife would make fresh butter. YUMMY

HOT BUNS

The year my folks had the Swine Flu and were so sick

Mrs. Hayden taking me shopping because my folks were to sick at that new mall in Antioch.

Seeing Santa at 100 Oaks and then again at Harding Mall and asking how he could be in both places.

Walking up the hill at 100 Oaks

The talking Christmas Tree at 100 Oaks

Going to Sears Downtown

The Candle Light Carol Service at Church.
My Bike
My Barbie Dream House
A TV for MY ROOM!!
A CAR!

New Jammies

How if you didn't get socks and underwear it just wasn't Christmas.

The Christmas my Grand Mamie was in the hospital and we stayed at her house in Atlanta and asking how would Santa find us.

My Donny and Marie Barbie Dolls

Leaving School and Steph and I having a car full of dirty laundry.

The thousand lights per branch on the tree

Making Christmas Ornaments that my Mom still hangs on the tree

Decorating the tree and the Ornaments feeling like long lost treasures as we hung them on the tree

My Snow Suit

The fountain I got that spoke to my heart

The Hand Painted Platter

May each of your Christmases be filled with warm memories of Christmases past and full of memories for the future.

So you droped your cell in the toliet

Dear Oprah

Hi Sister. I see again that you are talking about your weight. How you have just put it on. Me too. You say I know what to do and I have the tools and here I am again. Well I feel you I really do. I have put on weight and I started smoking again UGH! Seven years I went without smoking then one day I went and bought a pack. That didn't help me lose weight. I know what I need to do. I know how I should eat. But I don't do it. It's that pesky french fry rule.

It makes me feel so much better that someone who can afford to pay for someone to cook each meal for them still fights the same fight. That it is not just a battle of anyone person or group. When I was at my bone skinnest I would avoid sweets and fried foods and people would say you can afford a peice of cake. I would look them in the face and reply "I have to work just as hard to keep it off as you do to get it off."

But I just stopped working. You are not saying anything to yourself that anyone who has fought the battle of scale has not said. Never again! Only to find yourself there again. You are not alone.

Angry Blogging

"Simpson was not an individual storming a bank and taking property that belonged to others" in the September 2007 incident, the defense's sentencing memorandum said. "This was an individual who truly believed he was not committing a crime and that the law permitted the recovery of one's own property. Apparently that belief was mistaken."( cnn.com)

I wonder is that the way he felt about Nicole too? I mean he was going after what belonged to him. Right?!?!

So right now I sit here and I wait to see how they sentence him. I think this might be the perfect time to let go of the ANGRY Blogging I have been doing. I have been full of negativity here lately. And frankly I don't like it. So I have to move to fix it. So poke me when I am getting all negative.

Maybe I should make a things that bring me joy list like Stephly instead of things that annoy the crap out of me. She might have something there. If I keep this up I might come off her list. I wouldn't want that.


Here's one OJ GOT 15 YEARS DO DA DO DA.

Excuse me while I pitch a Bitch

So yesterday with the cold and the snow and the gray skies I was blue and not all happy smurf blue happy pants. I was pity party blue pissy whoa is me blue. I am still not thrilled but I am not throwing myself under the bus blue either. I am cramping to is that what you want to hear? Which is really rare for me I don’t cramp often.

Plus I am having a zillion people over to my house for a Christmas Party and I have fleas yes freakin fleas people and I have vacuumed and thrown out the bag and done it again I have done it 7 times and I still have fleas. I have sprayed my carpet with TOXIC flea spray and almost killed myself and I still have fleas. And how do I know I almost killed myself because my fucking tongue started to swell that’s how. But damn my carpets are clean. Through this do you know what is sad? When I vacuum each day I am still finding cobwebs and big dust bunnies that I missed the day before? You would think that after I have vacuumed the house for 3 days in a row I would have found all the cobwebs but hell no, so that ticks me off.
And you want to know what else ticks me off cause I have a list:

1. People that call back and say yea I got a call from this number. I am sure you did listen to your DAMN voicemail I freakin left you one. 2. People that bring their kids to a job interview HELLO DUMB ASS you are applying for a job not looking for a day care. 3. People that call and say ya I filled out an application and was wondering if my background check was back. OK and who the HELL ARE YOU? 4. People who don't do the wave when you let them in traffic. 5. That whole pants down around the ass thing. 6. That hair growing out of my chin. 7. Liars 8. Ford, GM, Crysler WHY DON'T YOU fire one or two of your Million dollar Executives, oh and now you figure out you need to leave your plane at home. 9. AIG 10. People that are mean to the helpless. 11. People that are RUDE to servers. 12. Comcast 13. Gum on my shoe.
14. Garden Gnomes. 15. Dust I mean what’s up with that? 16. Hard headed people, kinda poses a problem doesn't it. 17. Cold coffee. 18. burned cookies. 19. Daylight savings time. 20. Dry lips 21. They canceled Sports Night; I am still not over that. 22. Wet news papers 23. Rotten veggies. 24.A plastic fork at Fazoli’s who the hell came up with the idea that spaghetti could be eat well with a plastic fork? 25. The Spork I mean WTF? 26. The dude in front of me at the bank drive through that does not have his stuff ready. 27. People who park in handicapped spaces because they are to freakin lazy to walk so they borrow someone’s card. 28. Sean Hannity 29. Those fools that don’t put their buggy back and just leave it to roll through the parking lot. 30. That person that rides in the left lane and won’t merge so I can pass his ass. 31. People who litter. 32. Fleas 33. Warm beer 34. Brussels sprouts. 35. People who sit there and eat while their kids are screaming their heads off. I get you are making a point but make your point at home and not at the restaurant I am eating at. 36. People who don’t leash their dogs. 37. The medical treatment of our wounded soldiers by the United States Government. 38. The fact some of my ex’s are still breathing. 39. Baggage fees by the airlines. 40. Michael Jackson 41. O.J. Simpson. 42. People that say it will happen when you least expect it. Bite me! 43. The movie Hudson Hawk. I could have put that time in toward my mandatory community service. 44. Cramps. 45. I ma sure I have more so look out.

ICE CREAM

So this week Kristine over at Random and Odd told us to do ouice cream well since I am avoiding junk food in order to lose weight by my Christmas Party I had to pull something out of my archive. I bought this at Ben and Jerry's and it is Chocolate something or another. Did you play?

Good Intentions

Well I think I have finally found a reason to get back into eating right. We all know that I am really good at this whole road to hell thing. I am full of good intentions but not so good with the follow though. I have about 3 and half weeks to lose 10 pounds would rather it be 15 but I will settle for the 10. I know we have been here before but if I don’t have reason this time I don’t know that I ever will. I have very recently started talking to people I went to high school; with girls I have not seen in 20 years. I am going to ask them and their husbands to my and David’s big huge Christmas blow out. I need to look good to see them. I feel like a fat cow. MOOOOO.

I will send out the invites this week so yours should be coming. I am going to email them, which I know would cause Miss. Manners and my Mother to die at the lack of etiquette but well you all will live. I am also debating do I send invites to people who live far away who I know wont make it although I would love to see them? I mean it is not a printing and stamp cost. So if you are going to be in Nashville on the 13th let me know and I’ll give you my address.

So I have to stop going through the drive thru PERIOD. I was much easier to not do that when all they took was cash and if you didn’t have any you ate at home plan and simple. If I don’t have cash I can’t spend it right. WRONG I have a debit card and now everyone and their brother takes plastic. Hell Krystals takes plastic. OK the point to this I have to stop now so I can be skinny and cute for this party

Can I do it this time? I have doubts that was until Steplys wrote her 100 Fav things blog and my fantastic attitude toward life was number 55. So I guess that means I need to take that attitude and get with it. Somehow friends seem to know when you need that little nudge.

Have I always been this lacking in a follow through? Is this depression? I don’t know but I have 3 ½ weeks to drop so weight.

7 Deadly Sins

So I have been thinking about that abomination that is homosexuality Which then got me to thinking about the 7 deadly sins. So I looked them up YAY for the google search engine. And my Internet crashed. Yep I am that evil. So I get it back up and look em up. They are lust , gluttony , greed, sloth , wrath, envy,and Pride. Nope I don't see gay do you? So there was a test on how big a seven deadly sinner are you? I was kind of surprised I thought I was a much bigger sinner than that. I do love to eat and eat and eat. Gluttony. And I don't know if you know this or not but I am not a virgin. The shock the horror. I also enjoy a good drink and I want KB's. I have been known to give my wrath to people. But anyway here is my test. I was really just looking for some ammunition against those people who come swinging there Bibles at me.

Greed:	Medium
Gluttony:	Medium
Wrath:	Low
Sloth:	High
Envy:	Very Low
Lust:	Medium
Pride:	Medium

Take the Seven Deadly Sins Quiz

It's about love

I have thought many of these same things over the last week or so.

Debt of Gratitude

Having been called a Pinko Fascist Communist Liberal among other things. I have been called what is wrong with this country because I am a Liberal. But What many Conservatives fail to understand is what I am acutely aware of. And if they do understand I am not picking up on it.

I am the way I am because some Mother gave up her son and a Father lost a daughter. A child lost a parent and some lost a friend and the list goes on and on and on.

I know that my right to think what I think and choose how I want to worship. To say I think Bush sucks as a President is a right I have had bestowed upon me by "the sacrifice of the few for the many" Might right to not agree with war has been given to me by those who have fought so I can say that. That is what I know. Someone fought and died to give me the rights I have today. My right to VOTE , MY RIGHT to not want a gun in my home , see that MY RIGHT. OUR RIGHT. I get to be a Pinko Fascist Communist Liberal among other things because of Veterans past and present.

THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME THE RIGHT TO DISAGREE! THANK YOU FOR YOUR SACRIFICE! I HONOR YOU ALL.

MY UFO

So if I was to tell you I saw a UFO would you believe me? Well here it is the UFO I saw. OK OK I know I know it is not really a UFO but it makes me think about well hell lots of shit. I have been lazy and have not posted a picture in a while so I thought why not post the picture of the UFO from the parking lot carnival they had set up in the Kroger parking lot. I wanted to see if I could get some cool pictures with my camera. Yep I am a sucky photographer I need to add that to my 43things be a better photographer. I have like 39 things on my list of 43things. You can do one on line like me and be all cool and what not. I know you are breathing easier now. Like WHOA I could be a cool kid. Which I never was and really pride myslef on not being but being me. Well I am babbling again. I know that your lifes goal is to be cool like me. So if you add 43things you'll be half way there. Though I will tell you my 43things that are really 39 things is not under ferngoddess but ferngirl4 so why don't you go to 43things do a 43things and then come back and tell me I did 43things and this is my screen name or better yet do 43things then go to Random and Odd and post a comment there and Kristine will be like WTF are you people posting shit about 43things on my site.
OK don't really go to R&O and post 43things.

Joe the Plumber Meet Joe the Vice President

I think that says enough don't you?
Now we are going to force you all into a Gay Marriage and make you change your middle name to Hussein.

YES WE CAN!!!

Transcript of Obama’s Victory Speech last night in Chicago.



Hello, Chicago.

If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible, who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time, who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer.

It’s the answer told by lines that stretched around schools and churches in numbers this nation has never seen, by people who waited three hours and four hours, many for the first time in their lives, because they believed that this time must be different, that their voices could be that difference.

It’s the answer spoken by young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Hispanic, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, disabled and not disabled. Americans who sent a message to the world that we have never been just a collection of individuals or a collection of red states and blue states.

We are, and always will be, the United States of America.

It’s the answer that led those who’ve been told for so long by so many to be cynical and fearful and doubtful about what we can achieve to put their hands on the arc of history and bend it once more toward the hope of a better day.

It’s been a long time coming, but tonight, because of what we did on this date in this election at this defining moment change has come to America.

A little bit earlier this evening, I received an extraordinarily gracious call from Sen. McCain.

Sen. McCain fought long and hard in this campaign. And he’s fought even longer and harder for the country that he loves. He has endured sacrifices for America that most of us cannot begin to imagine. We are better off for the service rendered by this brave and selfless leader.

I congratulate him; I congratulate Gov. Palin for all that they’ve achieved. And I look forward to working with them to renew this nation’s promise in the months ahead.

I want to thank my partner in this journey, a man who campaigned from his heart, and spoke for the men and women he grew up with on the streets of Scranton and rode with on the train home to Delaware, the vice president-elect of the United States, Joe Biden.

And I would not be standing here tonight without the unyielding support of my best friend for the last 16 years the rock of our family, the love of my life, the nation’s next first lady Michelle Obama.

Sasha and Malia I love you both more than you can imagine. And you have earned the new puppy that’s coming with us to the new White House.

And while she’s no longer with us, I know my grandmother’s watching, along with the family that made me who I am. I miss them tonight. I know that my debt to them is beyond measure.

To my sister Maya, my sister Alma, all my other brothers and sisters, thank you so much for all the support that you’ve given me. I am grateful to them.

And to my campaign manager, David Plouffe, the unsung hero of this campaign, who built the best — the best political campaign, I think, in the history of the United States of America.

To my chief strategist David Axelrod who’s been a partner with me every step of the way.

To the best campaign team ever assembled in the history of politics you made this happen, and I am forever grateful for what you’ve sacrificed to get it done.

But above all, I will never forget who this victory truly belongs to. It belongs to you. It belongs to you.

I was never the likeliest candidate for this office. We didn’t start with much money or many endorsements. Our campaign was not hatched in the halls of Washington. It began in the backyards of Des Moines and the living rooms of Concord and the front porches of Charleston. It was built by working men and women who dug into what little savings they had to give $5 and $10 and $20 to the cause.

It grew strength from the young people who rejected the myth of their generation’s apathy who left their homes and their families for jobs that offered little pay and less sleep.

It drew strength from the not-so-young people who braved the bitter cold and scorching heat to knock on doors of perfect strangers, and from the millions of Americans who volunteered and organized and proved that more than two centuries later a government of the people, by the people, and for the people has not perished from the Earth.

This is your victory.

And I know you didn’t do this just to win an election. And I know you didn’t do it for me.

You did it because you understand the enormity of the task that lies ahead. For even as we celebrate tonight, we know the challenges that tomorrow will bring are the greatest of our lifetime — two wars, a planet in peril, the worst financial crisis in a century.

Even as we stand here tonight, we know there are brave Americans waking up in the deserts of Iraq and the mountains of Afghanistan to risk their lives for us.

There are mothers and fathers who will lie awake after the children fall asleep and wonder how they’ll make the mortgage or pay their doctors’ bills or save enough for their child’s college education.

There’s new energy to harness, new jobs to be created, new schools to build, and threats to meet, alliances to repair.

The road ahead will be long. Our climb will be steep. We may not get there in one year or even in one term. But, America, I have never been more hopeful than I am tonight that we will get there.

I promise you, we as a people will get there.

There will be setbacks and false starts. There are many who won’t agree with every decision or policy I make as president. And we know the government can’t solve every problem.

But I will always be honest with you about the challenges we face. I will listen to you, especially when we disagree. And, above all, I will ask you to join in the work of remaking this nation, the only way it’s been done in America for 221 years — block by block, brick by brick, calloused hand by calloused hand.

What began 21 months ago in the depths of winter cannot end on this autumn night.

This victory alone is not the change we seek. It is only the chance for us to make that change. And that cannot happen if we go back to the way things were.

It can’t happen without you, without a new spirit of service, a new spirit of sacrifice.

So let us summon a new spirit of patriotism, of responsibility, where each of us resolves to pitch in and work harder and look after not only ourselves but each other.

Let us remember that, if this financial crisis taught us anything, it’s that we cannot have a thriving Wall Street while Main Street suffers.

In this country, we rise or fall as one nation, as one people. Let’s resist the temptation to fall back on the same partisanship and pettiness and immaturity that has poisoned our politics for so long.

Let’s remember that it was a man from this state who first carried the banner of the Republican Party to the White House, a party founded on the values of self-reliance and individual liberty and national unity.

Those are values that we all share. And while the Democratic Party has won a great victory tonight, we do so with a measure of humility and determination to heal the divides that have held back our progress.

As Lincoln said to a nation far more divided than ours, we are not enemies but friends. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection.

And to those Americans whose support I have yet to earn, I may not have won your vote tonight, but I hear your voices. I need your help. And I will be your president, too.

And to all those watching tonight from beyond our shores, from parliaments and palaces, to those who are huddled around radios in the forgotten corners of the world, our stories are singular, but our destiny is shared, and a new dawn of American leadership is at hand.

To those — to those who would tear the world down: We will defeat you. To those who seek peace and security: We support you. And to all those who have wondered if America’s beacon still burns as bright: Tonight we proved once more that the true strength of our nation comes not from the might of our arms or the scale of our wealth, but from the enduring power of our ideals: democracy, liberty, opportunity and unyielding hope.

That’s the true genius of America: that America can change. Our union can be perfected. What we’ve already achieved gives us hope for what we can and must achieve tomorrow.

This election had many firsts and many stories that will be told for generations. But one that’s on my mind tonight’s about a woman who cast her ballot in Atlanta. She’s a lot like the millions of others who stood in line to make their voice heard in this election except for one thing: Ann Nixon Cooper is 106 years old.

She was born just a generation past slavery; a time when there were no cars on the road or planes in the sky; when someone like her couldn’t vote for two reasons — because she was a woman and because of the color of her skin.

And tonight, I think about all that she’s seen throughout her century in America — the heartache and the hope; the struggle and the progress; the times we were told that we can’t, and the people who pressed on with that American creed: Yes we can.

At a time when women’s voices were silenced and their hopes dismissed, she lived to see them stand up and speak out and reach for the ballot. Yes we can.

When there was despair in the dust bowl and depression across the land, she saw a nation conquer fear itself with a New Deal, new jobs, a new sense of common purpose. Yes we can.

When the bombs fell on our harbor and tyranny threatened the world, she was there to witness a generation rise to greatness and a democracy was saved. Yes we can.

She was there for the buses in Montgomery, the hoses in Birmingham, a bridge in Selma, and a preacher from Atlanta who told a people that “We Shall Overcome.” Yes we can.

A man touched down on the moon, a wall came down in Berlin, a world was connected by our own science and imagination.

And this year, in this election, she touched her finger to a screen, and cast her vote, because after 106 years in America, through the best of times and the darkest of hours, she knows how America can change.

Yes we can.

America, we have come so far. We have seen so much. But there is so much more to do. So tonight, let us ask ourselves — if our children should live to see the next century; if my daughters should be so lucky to live as long as Ann Nixon Cooper, what change will they see? What progress will we have made?

This is our chance to answer that call. This is our moment.



This is our time, to put our people back to work and open doors of opportunity for our kids; to restore prosperity and promote the cause of peace; to reclaim the American dream and reaffirm that fundamental truth, that, out of many, we are one; that while we breathe, we hope. And where we are met with cynicism and doubts and those who tell us that we can’t, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people: Yes, we can.

Thank you. God bless you. And may God bless the United States of America.


http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/politics/2008/11/05/sot.obama.entire.cnn

88 YEARS

I have been trying to figure out what I wanted to do today. How I wanted to handle the project of showing my vote from over at Random and Odd. I voted a few weeks ago. I have had a lot of thoughts in my head. When I voted I was really debating about waiting for today so I could get in on the excitement of it all. My right to vote is not something I take for granted despite being a pinko fascist communist liberal.

So I wanted to remind you kind folk out there that I as a women have only had the right to vote for 88 years. In the grand scheme of things that is not long. SO today I voted because that is a right that women have not had long.

Here in the South African-Americans have only had equal voting rights since 1965. People that is 43 years ago We kept people from voting based on the color of their skin. We gave them a test to judge if they should be allowed to vote and then still got to decide if they would be allowed to vote no matter what the results.

Today I wonder if Martin Luther King Jr. was alive what would he say about what is happing in the US tonight? Does this line up with his DREAM?

My sister took the day off of work to drive people to the polls to vote.

I know 7 new citizens of the United States who voted in there very first Presidential Election.

I know men and women who are severing this country so we can vote.
I have no picture because you are my picture. America is my picture. You all are my VOTE.
Each person who drove people to the polls. Each person who died fighting for the rights of United States Citizens. Each person who stood in line for a few minutes or a few hours , and each person who voted for the first time today. YOU ARE THE PICTURE






That goes here.

Where I throw-up

I can't wait for tomorrow to be over. I am sick to death of all the nasty emails from my Republican Friends. I have not received one negative McCain email. Because well Dramatics have more class. That's what I am going with. As I reported earlier I told one of them to basiclly kiss my ass when she sent me her rant on the GAY AGENDA. I am over the daily fill my in-box with this crap.
I hope that VOTE NO ON 8 in CA, NO on 2 in FLA , NO on 102 in AZ don't have the same thing happen to them that we did in TN the State of HATE.

I am over all the HATE that has been coming through.

Tomorrow Makes HISTORY no matter what.

For Kristine

The Blog below was copied and pasted from Random and Odds Blog ( don't be asking me to link you to it. You should know me better than that. Seriously the link is over there on the right. Over a little more now scroll down and she is the last one yea right there)

I have already voted I did that last Friday and it took me all of five min. I have my "I Voted" Sticker on my computer in my office. Though I will not re use the pictures from my last I voted Blog. I encourage you to go play Stuff Portrait Tuesday. Damn that was hard to say. Anyway go vote.


As you probably noticed, I took Stuff Portrait Friday out of the line up. Yeah, I know, BAD KRISTINE!

This upcoming Tuesday is a BIG upcoming Tuesday. It’s a pee-pee tingling Tuesday! It’s a Tuesday that might change our lives forever. In honor of this super special Tuesday, I’m bringing Stuff Portrait Friday back, but on Tuesday. It’s like Saturday Night Live, but on Thursdays.

So what’s the theme? Puh-leaze, like you don’t know!

VOTE!
On Tuesday, November 4th, 2008 — GO VOTE! When you do, take a picture of something that represents this freedom. The pen you used. The road you took to get there. SOMETHING.
If you voted early or by mail in…on November 4th , 2008…go take a picture of something you will no longer take for granted, something that shows us you have a voice and it matters!

I don’t do this very often, but I am doing it today..and everyday until November 4th, 2008 –>If you have to; copy and paste this whole thing into your blog and blog it! Send them here to www.randomandodd.com on November 4th 2008 and tell them to give me a link to their website and I promise to visit EVERY SINGLE BLOG that leaves a comment that says, “I voted, here’s my picture!” and I promise to leave a comment. (I’m asking for it huh?)
It doesn’t matter if their vote doesn’t match mine. That is what makes this country so friggin’ wonderful!

So go on, Spread the word, Stuff Portrait Friday will be here on TUESDAY NOVEMBER THE FOURTH!

If you decide to blog this blog, comment me so I can come by and shout HOO-RAW on your site!

I can’t wait to see all the pictures. I hope we hit 143.

Death by Mexican Hat Dance

The last few weeks our game night group that was a book club and is an occasional dinner club with nothing but catching up has not met.
We were supposed to meet at Libby’s new place last week but for some reason she can’t get settled into her place in four days I mean what is with that?

So when GQ emailed yesterday to say hey Fran I miss game night what’s going on. I jumped in and said I would host tonight. I don’t know if you know this or not but I am the one responsible for getting everyone together for Game Night or what ever the hell it is going to be. I send out the reminder emails I keep track of whose turn it is to host etc. And I fell off task and let it all fall to the wayside. So when GQ emailed this morning to say I didn’t check with Jack and he has school stuff he has to get done I had a mix of emotions.

I was first very disappointed. I enjoy my time with them we laugh and talk. We tease one another and we are real with each other. That might explain why the group has taken on so many transformations. We are just friends who gather to do what ever. The last time we got together we never played one game we just talked. It worked well.

Second I was rather relived. I had not gotten to the store and was going to stop on my way home and put together the stuff for our Mexican Fiesta. I was going to make Chipotle Shrimp Tacos. But I was also making a list a mile long of Mexican dishes to do and had this idea in my head that I would be feeding a small army. I was thinking beef tacos, taquitos, and Enchiladas, refried beans, rice, and taco toppings too. I had assigned folks to bring chips and salsa, guacamole and queso dip. There were going to be FOUR people counting me. Who in the hell did I think I was feeding with an idea like that in my head? I mean really. I know I can personally eat my weight in chips and dips. But lord.

If I am going to cook like that my group needs to grow. I had even looked at making my tortillas by hand. Um when did I plan on doing this? Now I do have coupons for the taquitios and Enchiladas but still I was going over board or kill.

Maybe I’ll just make devils balls for this weekend. Now the question is do I cook salmon or still try and eat my weight in chips and salsa?

Of the things I am to old for

I learned this weekend it is those awesome road trips I used to take when I was young I am to old for. And I define road trips as being unplanned, not completely thought out. Which Jon who started this mess is good for not well thought out road trips. He is spontaneous.
Jon and his wife called me Saturday afternoon maybe around 2:30pm asking what I was doing for the next 24 hours. Once we made it through all the fore play with words. Jon informs me that he has bought a new motorcycle on eBay. Some Honda RC51 1000cc thing a ma bob. But it is Dallas. DALLAS,TX. I knew I could not drive down there and back alone. I asked him to find someone to help me drive and he did. We left out of Nashville at 1:30 AM and hit the road. We were held up an hour and a half around 6am for a wreck. If you don't know the roads in Arkansas suck bricks. At some random stop we did see the Oscar Mayer Winner Mobile. I failed to get a picture because I was driving. Sorry : (
We arrived at the Bike Shop in Dallas at 1PM. Though the bike Jon bought was not in freakin Dallas it was in FREAKIN Ft. Worth. OK not really that big a deal. Because that is why they call the airport the Dallas, Fort Worth airport. But I am giving Jon shit. Because I can and it is my job.
Jon's new bike is cool as hell.


Then we began our trip back home. I was supposed to be sleeping. As we pulled out of town I saw Six Flags



I could not get to sleep. But I did get a picture of Jon showing off on his new toy.



Still I didn't get any real sleep and when my turn came to drive I only got in a few hours of drive time in. My eyes began to cross and water. I was raising my glasses to clear my eyes. It was somewhere around Jackson that I got a new burst of energy and could see straight. I made just outside of Jackson before I was asked to pull over so I did not kill everyone in the car. At 2:30 AM and 1400 miles later we made it home. I got home and hit the hay and could not move all day Monday. I thought for sure I would just sleep late and go into work late and be fine. WRONG. Oh how wrong I was. I could not move. I took a shower with the intent of going out and grabbing some lunch surely if I ate I would feel better. I dressed and had to lay back down I went back to sleep. When I woke up again I tried to head to the door then I decided I should just order food. There is no way I could make it out the door that in and of itself took me 20 minutes. I ordered a pizza and passed out. When the pizza arrived I got a slice and ate half of it and passed out again. When I woke up 3 hours later I turned on the oven to heat my cold pizza ate the rest of my half eaten pizza and well napped again. I never did heat up the cold pizza and I still went to bed at 10 and slept all night. I was still a little hazy this morning.
I am not cut out for long road trips. That there kicked my ass.

The Good News!!!!

As promised I am finally going to tell what I have been holding onto and has been causing me to wain on staying at Domino's. We arrived in the office on Tuesday the Sept. 30 to find a letter from the State telling us we have been approved for to provide Personal Assistant Service (PA). YAY!!! I have been waiting on this since we submitted our application, Hell I can't even remember when it has been so long.

We are still waiting on a few things. A background check on the company's owner. We have to submit a new one for this. Then send in finical statements. But as things stand now we should be providing P.A. services by the first of the year. We might start sooner but my boss is leaving the country the for the Christmas Holiday and that could put us starting after the New Year. So it looks like the last few years of hard is is going to be paying off.

This leaves me now to explain what is holding me back from looking for another second job. Not that I have changed my mind about going out there and putting in an application . I haven't and I will be looking. I will be over all the PA's. So when there are staffing issues I will be the one responsible for dealing with it. Meaning missing work at job two for problems on job one. But, I will also be getting a big fat raise with the new PA Service. UGH life.

But that is the good news.

I sent two boats

You know that old joke " There came a great rain storm and Bob told his family he was going to stay at the house and God would save him.Bob prayed for God to save and protect him. After the water level reached the porch a canoe came but Bob told them , No I am going to stay God will look after me. Bob prayed for God to save and protect him. Later the water level was at the bottom of the second floor window and a motor boat came by. They tried in vain to get Bob in the boat but he told them NO God will save me. Bob prayed for God to save and protect him. When the water had reach the roof a helicopter arrived but Bob waved them off. Bob prayed for God to save and protect him. Bob reached the pearly gates and met God he looked at him and said God how could you I was a good man I prayed and yet you did not save me. God looked at Bob and said My Son I sent 2 boats and a helicopter what more did you want me to do? "

I have begun to think I am taking this approach with finding a different second job. Though today gas has finally dropped down below $3.00 a gallon in Nashville business is still slow and tips are off. I have made-up a million reason to stay most of them involve me not taking my job that seriously and I can call in and not get fired. The job is a cake walk. Three stores in the area have closed, they are all for sale , distributors are not delivering because they are not getting paid and some pay checks are bouncing. Where I come from this is not a good sign. The owner is selling because he did not meet franchise mandates. I joked to the manager that between the four days I go without working I am never sure if when I pull in on Thursday the store will still be open.
I am going to make it my mission in the next week to apply to at least three places. I am thinking Target, Best Buys, and Restoration Hardware. They will need holiday help. After the holidays well that is on my blog list and I promise to tell you the good news I have been sitting on this weekend. At some point , maybe , if I don't think of something else.
I am also going to call you and ask to use you as a reference so sit by your phone damn it and wait.

Do you know my Secret

Last Friday I took a somewhat rare night off Domino's for a double date. With two of favorite people GQ and Jack. As my friends and readers know I am a HUGE PostSecert fan. I love Frank. Not many people/ groups warrant a second visit from me but Frank and his secrets do.

Frank was at Vanderbilt for a Facebook event last Friday night and I called up my Mom and she got the three of us tickets.
We had a totally great dinner at BrickTops it was a little pricey but it was good. If there is one near you I say give it a try. In fact our waiter looked like Frank. I had a Chilean Sea Bass that was out of this world. The food was good and it was HOT!! As in I had to let it cool off so I could eat it. I think it is always a plus when you eat out and you have to wait for the food to cool. Means it has not sat in the window waiting to come to the table. I also had a pineapple martini not as sweet as I thought it would have been but not a bad little drink it is not sweet like a pina colada.

Post Secret started as small community art project in Washington, D.C. Where people mail in their secrets anonymously The rules are as follows: It must be something you have never told anyone and it must be true. Frank says there are two kinds of secrets those we keep from others and those we keep from ourselves.


I wont say that I am an open book but the people that I trust those that know me know what I have done that shames me. Know my dark fears. Know the things about me that I don't put here in the open.
It is the secrets from myself that get in my way. Since Friday I have been thinking what am I keeping from myself? What am I to afraid to admit? When I figure it out I'll let you know.
What Secret are you keeping?

Saving Receipts

In this quest of mine to save money I decided that this week I am going to start saving receipts I have not been doing so hot thus far. This morning I could not get a receipt for my gas from the pump and I was way too lazy to go in and ask for one. But who really wants to remember what they are paying for gas?
I also went through the drive thru at Chick-Fil-A and did not get a receipt I forgot to ask. I was thinking that if I could SEE the money I was wasting at the drive thru I might spend less. I don’t know what happened to me. When I lived in Chattanooga I made an effort to pack my lunch because I wanted to save money what happened to that woman? I never ate out and now I live in the drive thru. I had a plan and some how I lost that. We are all in a though economic time and I can’t get my shit together

So I am going to start saving my receipts to see what I am wasting each week. That is this weeks Nickel and Dime tip save your receipts. See what you waste.

I Have a List ….

I stated that I was going to start making list of blog topics. I have a running list of things that pop in my head to tell ya’ll. Right now there are ten. Count them 10. This post is not among them so I should be able to keep you busy for about 2 weeks more if I write like I usually do. There are all kinds of events coming up which make my list grow so I could in all reality keep you busy through the first part of 2009. Don’t let the shock kill you. There are much better things to die of shock over.

Speaking of shock nah I got nothing. I can’t decide if as I get older I shock easier or it is more like that whole Clay Aiken is gay shock. Where you roll your eyes and try not to choke on the sarcasm. I myself am not at all familiar with sarcasm never used use it. Some over educated dill weed of a therapist once told me I was using sarcasm to mask pain and emotion. I looked at him and said, “ya think?” But, I know that comes as a shock to you.

Though I think shock can arrive in many forms there is the

“JESUS CHRIST!!” shock, where the eyes bug out the mouth drops open and you just stand there in total stunned disbelief.

“HOLY SHIT!!” shock where you fall into a chair cover your mouth with your hand and shake your head back and forth and say “Shit/ Damn” over and over again.

“OH MY GOD!” shock where you are elated a huge grim arrives on your face you might jump up and down with delight.

Choke, Gag, Clang Shock This starts when someone makes an announcement in the middle of dinner that comes out of the blue but is typically followed by one of the above once everyone is done choking, gagging and dropping their fork. Like when your 16-year-old sister says in the middle of dinner “I’m pregnant, pass the corn.”

I think my last SHOCK was the great birthday gift I got from Stephlys I was like WOW!! The whole trip was a wow.

Other times I think the shock comes when I have devalued myself worth and I am asked to join in an event and I think “ME?” that is the shock I want to let go of the one where I am totally surprised that people value me.

Well this was a turn I was not expecting. Talk about shock.

What was that again ?

I have this horrible habit of coming up with what I think are great subject ideas to blog about. I am working at the office or riding down the road and I will get this great idea I will start to kind of process it and think about what I want to tell you worshipers. You know I will get an outline going in my head. I get all excited about it and then it is gone.

It is not like I am just losing Political ideas I am losing that Friday Night was great idea and how it was great. I will have several ideas going and none of them come make it here. Right now in my head I have like 4 going by in the morning they will all be gone.

I have come up with what I think is going to be a more favorable solution to keeping up with my ideas which may help me blog more often. I am going to jot my ideas down as they come to me. I keep a small notebook at my desk and in my car I am just going to have it put it to use . But knowing the way my brain has been working lately I will lose the paper.

Quote for the day

( borrowed)

"As this debacle continues, and CEOs walk away with boatloadsof cash, and the government is now considering owning banks, i am reminded of an old saying (source unknown)

If you put a government agency in charge of the Sahara Desert---it would soon run out of sand!"

Home Town Debate

I am watching the debate from my home town of Nashville, TN. I can't decide if I wish I was down there now or here at home where I am.

Nickel and Dime

Several years ago I saw this woman on the Today Show and she shopped for her family of 5 and would spend less than $20 a week. Give or take. One day last week I saw another story about a woman who feeds her family of four for about that each week. So I figured I could do this maybe not as well for many many reason. If you are going to only spend $10 to $20 week on groceries you can’t be as picky as I am. They say you need at least 2 hours a week to keep it organized

I.e. you have to be willing to buy the kind of soap that you have a coupon for. This is going to put a damper on my getting by with $20 a week.

This week after clipping my coupons from this weeks and last weeks paper I went through the sale papers looked at the sales. I went to Publix which has a penny mystery item every Sunday and Monday if you spend $10 or more I saved almost $12 and spent $81.00 but shrimp was on sale.

It is going to take a lot of work and a lot of planning but you my loyal reader will be kept up to date on how it goes.

Here are a few tips:

Here in Nashville Kroger gives you .04 cents off your total for each reusable bag you use for your groceries.

Publix has a penny item Sunday and Monday

Again with the Gay Agenda

I have a wide group of friends some closer than others but there are just some things that we just agree to disagree on. The ones who are more conservative we just don’t talk about the liberal agenda or the right wing rhetoric. One friend every once in a blue moon I will get something that clearly shows her right thinking. I just smile and at least know that the busy Mom of two young children is thinking of me. But another in this political season has been inundating my in box with VILE HATE FILLED right wing crap. Which I had been politely just moving passed until last night when I received an email about the “Gay Agenda” apparently MacDonald’s has become a member of the National Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce (NGLCC). The email from the American Family Association was asking me to forward a form letter to MacDonald’s in protest to this action of following the “gay agenda” and to begin a boycott of the restaurant. The only protest I had been planning of MacDonald’s is the one for my waistline.

Needless to say I flipped. Told her “McDonald's will definitely be getting more of my Business I would hate to think I had been supporting HATE MONGERS. I will call them and thank them for SUPPORRTING EQUAL HUMAN RIGHTS FOR ALL HUMANS WHICH I support 100%. Places that use hate and dissemination as a means to get business have no place in my life. I will call and thank them!!!!!!
If this is the kind of HATE and Vile you are going to send please REMOVE Me from you email list!!!!!!!”

Was that a little much? Could I have just done with this last email what I had done with the rest? Sure I could. But, people who use Christ as a means to spread hate just sticks in my crawl. They are the folks that keep me out of church. People who think their sin is less than someone else’s. Plus I am a big supporter of Equal Human Rights for all Humans. I firmly believe that if you think something it not right you should stand up and take action and not just sit on your hunches and say, “well that’s just the way things are” So she was doing what she believed in and I felt it was time that I do what I believe in. That said eat more MacDonald’s.

# 2

I have been seriously thinking of looking for another 2nd job. I am just fucking over the first 2nd job. I never in all my life thought I would still be delivering pizzas almost 4 years after I started. I wanted to have spending money for Hawaii so I decided to deliver pizzas to earn the extra cash I needed ok wanted to go and have a good time. When I came home there were bills I said I needed to pay off. Then I lost my job, my health insurance and my mind.

Some months, most months I was not paying off debt but just getting by. I have paid off my student loan and a few other bills. But gas is through the roof, business is slow, and tips are down. We went from needing 6 to 8 drivers on a Friday night to needing 3. With my hourly minimum wage and tips I have been thinking I can earn about the same thing doing retail work like maybe at Target or Dillard’s and save on gas without the ware and tear on my car. It is just a thought. Either way I have made the decision to keep working two jobs until the mountain of bills is gone even after my car is paid off. The question of course is where? Unless of course tonight is the night I hit the lottery then I will tell everyone to go to hell.

Old?

You know you are old when:

they are talking about Oprah and Phil and you think Donahue and not Doctor.


OK what do you have?

Pinheads and Sexism

Yeah yeah yeah I am slow and I have been meaning for weeks to post this but hell here it is.

Shock or Potatoes

I am not sure what I am more shocked by the fact that Clay Aiken "The Gaykin" came out of the closet. Or that people still think that voting Republican is the way to go.

So Clay is gay. It is like going yeah and...? I had the same reaction when my buddy Ricky finally told me he was gay. He told me he was was gay and I was like OK pass the mashed potatoes. Alright not really. I went
"It is about FUCKING TIME!!! What took you so long."

Then Ricky slightly teary eyed looked at me and asked "How long have you known?"

"Um do you really really want to know?"

"Yes, Ferngoddess be honest with me."

I took a breath "the day you came sashaying in to work."

" you knew the day you meet me?"

"Yep pretty much."

" But, I didn't even know then."

"It's a power, what can I say."


Really shock would be if my red neck truck driving friend Greg told me he was going to vote Democrat.

Or that George Warde actually kept his word now that would shock me.

38 is gonna be great

Last weekend I wrapped up a month of celebrating turning 38 , with the theme 38 is gonna be great. One of my very dearest friends flew me out to visit her and her husband T in St. Petersburg , FL. She is for all technical purposes the mother of "Fern" she gave me the name either because I stutter or she is hard of hearing. But I love her and I have missed her so we reconnected. This is how we reconnected



This is how we reconnected on Saturday

Not such a bad way to spend a Saturday! In fact I was so relaxed I fell asleep and woke myself up snoring. Which would make my personal statement I get more relaxed in the mountains make one wonder what I would be like if I was relaxed in the mountains.

We walked , ate , talked , and laughed.

T cooked for us he makes awsome pancakes and a mean pizza.




This is how we reconnected on Sunday. I woke myself up snoring again on Sunday. What can I say.

Stephlys I love you. Thank you for a fabulous weekend.